


(Not) Just a Fan

by Ascent_96



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:22:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 37,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22289335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ascent_96/pseuds/Ascent_96
Summary: Kim Wooseok is an idol who is slowly heading to his ruin and is trying to find a way to save his career. Cho Seungyoun is a rising singer-songwriter who also happens to be a fan of Kim Wooseok.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Comments: 121
Kudos: 263





	1. Chapter 1

The fanmeeting was held in a small venue in Seoul.

In a tightly closed space where it could only contain the most a hundred people, the hall wasn’t even completely full. It was as if news of the fanmeeting hadn’t been known which led to this pitiful sight where an idol could only see half of the chairs occupied with fans.

Kim Wooseok sat behind a single lonely table on the stage. He tapped the blunt end of the pen against the surface of the table idly while his eyes roamed around the hall.

They were all familiar faces.

The girl who was sitting at the very front had probably been to almost every single fanmeeting Wooseok had for Wooseok to be able to recognize her at a single glance. In fact, almost all the faces that attended his fanmeeting today were recognizable.

In the end, he was an idol who had a small constant fanbase that remained loyal, yet he did not have the ability to attract new fans in and that fact alone was an almost lethal handicap in his career as an idol. 

Wooseok had no idea how much longer he will last before he faded out completely. Realizing this one day, he began considering the prospect of leaving his career as an idol and moved on to a life of a normal white-collar worker. Even if there was lack of interest in that area, at least working in office could provide him way more stability than his current situation now which could only persistently provoke anxiety in him.

He tapped his pen on the table more insistently without realizing. Recently, he seemed to have moments where anxiety suddenly attacked him out of nowhere. At home whenever he was thinking about his unstable future, he would start to bite his nails without realizing it himself. By the time he snapped out of his thoughts, the end of his nails were torn and bleeding.

No matter how long he spent time thinking, he couldn’t find a way out of this.

It could be said that he was nearing his expiry date as an idol, and it was proven even more in front of him right now by the number of fans that had reduced with each fanmeeting.

Back when he debuted, there would be a constant few hundreds that followed him. And as time passed, the few hundreds seemed to have left him in pursue of other new idols.

So he kept questioning himself when he was alone thinking, was it because he was lacking? If so, where was he lacking? He had tried his best in everything he did, he had given his whole heart to love back the people who had loved and followed him all these while. How did the love fade so fast? Was love always this temporary and meaningless?

He remembered his first debut on a small stage at the young age of 20. There was not much media coverage on his debut on that day, yet it was the day he would never forget in his life as he came out to be with fans who had waited for him for a long time, as he sang and gave happiness to the fans who were looking forward to see him perform.

He remembered that day like it was yesterday.

Whenever Wooseok was going through a hard time in his career, the memories of that day renew the resolve in him. A resolve to keep the promise he had made to himself when he debuted - to be successful in doing what he loves.

Kim Wooseok loves the stage, he loves to perform, he loves the feeling of being able to give happiness to the people who love him.

Yet, as each passing days became darker, the resolution became blurred at one point and the precious memories that he remembered on his debut day too, became tainted.

Eventhough he tried to endure the pessimism with indifference, it seemed that bad things were neverending as they continuously piled one after another in front of him, blocking his path of going forward.

He seemed to have been stuck, and worse still, being shoved backwards till he was abandoned to a place where it was even worse than when he first started.

Wooseok took the microphone laying on the table into his hand and mustered the brightest smile he could towards his fans.

“Hello, everyone. It’s nice to see you here today.”

The voices that returned his greeting were cheerful and Wooseok reveled momentarily in the happiness that was seen on their faces. Pushing the worries into the back of his mind, he decided to focus on the people who had came all the way here to see him today.

“How are you guys?”

He started with small talks, with a pleasant smile constantly forming on his lips. The fans answered him with their various answers and it came sounding like a mix of unidentifiable buzzing in the background.

“Since there aren’t that many people today, I will have more time to talk to each one of you. Let’s look forward to a good conversation between us.” In the end, Wooseok decided to listen to his fans on a more personal level today to occupy the extra time they had.

Soon after those words were said, the fanmeeting then officially started. The girl at the very front seat got up and hurriedly made her way to the stage, as if not wanting to waste any second she got to have to talk to Wooseok. She was holding a big shopping bag with her, probably filled with something expensive again because the last time Wooseok remembered receiving something from her, it was a really warm fur coat from an expensive designer brand. The post-its note attached to it read _‘please wear this and keep warm during winter ^^’_. Because the words on the note were as warm as the gift, Wooseok had used the coat often while going out.

It was not just her that Wooseok had felt warmth from, in fact all of his fans had always been so warm towards him. Therefore, without knowing himself, it had been a habit for him to say to see them next winter, or next spring, or next summer, or next autumn, like a silent promise for them to not leave him because Wooseok didn’t want anymore of them to leave him. It always made him feel lonely when he realized some faces he had gotten used to will never come back to see him anymore.

Facing with that uncertainty of people who would leave anytime, Wooseok spent as much time as he can this time to talk with each of his fans, genuinely listening to what they had to say because he wanted to understand each one of them better. Because he didn’t want to regret not listening to them properly before they left him. Because he also wanted to understand them if they decided to leave him one day.

This fanmeeting might be his last for all he knew, and he wanted to at least repay their love back as much as he can while he still had the chance.

He had been linking hands with the girl in front of him while listening to her talk about her day. Despite the fact that Wooseok was gazing at her the whole time, the eye-contact remained one-sided as she continued to keep her eyes down shyly. It seemed to be a usual sight which Wooseok had seen with most of the girls that came to see him, but he wanted to make the girls feel as comfortable as possible while talking to him so he didn’t force anything from them.

After the girl’s turn was over, he handed the girl the photo he had signed and promised her with words of meeting again next time before thanking her. Once she left, he turned his head to greet his next fan automatically.

“Hello, please take a… seat….”

His words trailed off in the end because of an unexpected surprise. Unknowingly, he was staring at the fan that had strode up to him with wide eyes.

He continued watching as the fan sat in front of him, meeting his gaze. The body that occupied the seat in front of him was bigger than his.

It was a male fan.

But it wasn’t just the fact that he was a male fan that had stunned Wooseok speechless, it was also because he recognized this person.

“Hello, Kim Wooseok-ssi. I’m Cho Seungyoun. Nice to meet you.”

“...”

When Seungyoun held out his hand in a friendly gesture, he must’ve been confidently expecting that Wooseok would react positively to it. However when he was met with no response from Wooseok, he slowly retracted his hand back to scratch the back of his head, seemingly embarrassed and not knowing what to say.

It was only after almost a minute of staring that Wooseok finally found his voice back.

“...Aren’t you Woodz, the singer-songwriter?”

Wooseok’s voice was small as his eyes continued to regard Seungyoun with disbelief.

At that, Seungyoun blinked his eyes. He looked as if he didn’t expect that Wooseok would recognize him. He laughed brightly with a tint of red on his cheeks.

“Yes, I’m Woodz. But how did you know me?”

Seungyoun asked with curious eyes. The glimmer in those eyes seemed to be too bright. Wooseok didn’t know how he looked in Seungyoun’s eyes at the moment, but he hoped Seungyoun wouldn’t notice the nervousness through his facial expression.

“I’ve heard your songs… you’re famous.”

It was only these that Wooseok could say to him while trying to process the fact that a star who is much bigger than him had came to his fanmeeting as his fan.

Cho Seungyoun, with his stage name Woodz, is a rising singer-songwriter this year due to his new song which has became a big hit in all music site. Even Wooseok could not miss the name Woodz as his song continuously conquered the music charts for 5 weeks in a row. For a singer-songwriter, that alone is a huge accomplishment enough to soar him into instant fame.

For a while, Woodz has been the talk of the town. So it was not possible to not recognize Woodz.

But Seungyoun was reacting as if he was undeserving of such recognition.

“I’m just a guy who loves to sing and perform, just like you.” Seungyoun smiled brightly as he added the last part, successfully shifting the whole focus of the conversation back to Wooseok using that one commonality they shared. That’s right, Woodz is a singer just like him too.

“Ah, right.” Fumbling for a moment, Seungyoun seemed to search his side as he remembered something. Soon, a simple-looking gift bag revealed itself from underneath the table and was presented in front of Wooseok’s eyes. “I thought hard on what to give you. I’m sorry, I’m not really good at this kind of thing-” While Seungyoun was talking, Wooseok reached into the bag and pulled out the contents from the bag. Usually he would keep the gifts from fans and open them in his house later, but for some reason he was just curious to know what kind of gift he would get from someone like Woodz. When Seungyoun saw how Wooseok pulled out the white hoodie and held it in his hand for a long time, his mouth quickly opened again. “I’m sorry I don’t really know your exact size because I couldn’t find any information on your size online, so I just assumed based on how you looked. I don’t really know either if you will like it, but if you don’t like it, you can just throw it away-” While Seungyoun was rambling away, Wooseok folded the hoodie neatly and put it back into the bag.

“I like it a lot. Thank you, I’ll use it well.” Wooseok intercepted with a grateful smile.

The sight seemed to throw Seungyoun offguard so he shut his mouth without anything further to say. Seungyoun remained in that state even when Wooseok picked up a photo and signed it for him. When the signed photo was handed to him later, Seungyoun saw the words on the photo which was written like a letter. _‘Thank you for coming, Cho Seungyoun-ssi. It was really an honour to meet you. I will wear your gift with an honoured heart. Please continue to support me in the future too :).’_

Seungyoun was in a daze after he read them. Even as he left the table after his turn was over, his mind continued to wander in hazy clouds.

As the fanmeeting came to an end, Wooseok once again thanked everyone for coming and told everyone to have a safe trip home before he disappeared behind the stage. Seungyoun who had been thinking about something else for a while, suddenly snapped out from his thoughts and got out from his seat.

He went out of the venue and waited outside the backdoor. When Wooseok came out through the door to head to a waiting car, Seungyoun went up to him and blocked his path. Surprised, Wooseok stopped in his steps and lifted his head up to look at Seungyoun who loomed a head taller than him. There seemed to be a strange expression on the taller man’s face.

Wooseok, who didn’t expect the sudden appearance of Seungyoun, continued blinking as he waited for the latter who looked as if he had something to say.

“Kim Wooseok-ssi.”

“Yes?”

Seungyoun’s hand which had been holding onto his mouth all these while fell down slowly.

“Let’s meet again if you have time later.”

Wooseok stared at Seungyoun’s face which had became reddened with heat in the middle of a cold winter night. An unfamiliar naked desperation showed itself in the sharp eyes of Seungyoun at that moment, sealing Wooseok’s lips into silence.

Maybe it was then when everything started.

The moment when Cho Seungyoun appeared in Kim Wooseok’s life, that something irrevocable seemed to have set in motion between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this plot has been bugging me so i really need to get it down. please leave comments and kudos if you like the story, they will be my motivation~ thank you ^^


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please continue to love seungseok and support X1 members! kudos and comments are my motivation <3

Wooseok arrived home a little after midnight. After eating at a restaurant nearby with his manager, he decided he would head home immediately because he was tired. Usually their routine would be to have a drink after eating, especially if the next day Wooseok was free from schedule but somehow today Wooseok wasn’t in the mood to follow the norm.

Wooseok pushed the door close with his shoulder while his hands were full with gifts from fans. He heaved a relieved sigh after putting the bunch of bags down at the corner of the living room. Taking off his long coat, he thought he would take a bath first before doing anything else.

In the bathroom, he spent some time looking at himself in the mirror. His face was still red, either from the cold or from something else Wooseok himself wasn’t sure.

Earlier something really unexpected happened.

Wooseok remembered Seungyoun’s face which was staring at him with an intensity that was almost suffocating. He couldn’t shake off the strange atmosphere between them then. Despite the confusion, Wooseok managed to hold back the question that he almost wanted to let slip and felt thankful about it now because for some reason he felt afraid of knowing the reason.

Cho Seungyoun- no, Woodz, that famous Woodz had came to his fanmeeting and then asked to keep in contact. Wooseok still found all these hard to believe. He who couldn’t even keep his fans interested to stay with him, suddenly had the ability to attract a big star like Woodz?

No matter how much he thought about it, he felt it was impossible for Woodz to be a fan of his. That’s right, there must be something else.

Wooseok shook his head. Maybe he was taking his thoughts too far. These days, he kept thinking too deeply about things till the thoughts gradually changed its course towards a pessimistic path without realizing himself. For all he knew, Seungyoun might really just be a fan of his. Yet despite how much Wooseok tried to reason, there was a nagging feeling inside Wooseok which couldn’t convince him completely that it was just simply that.

He showered with his mind still running loudly with thoughts. After he finished showering and changing into his pajamas, he went back to the living room with a towel hung around his neck. Glancing at the gifts laying in the corner, he took all the bags and placed them on top of the spacious sofa.

Unwrapping and unbundling the gifts one by one, soon there were various items piled by his side. Most of the gifts were things that could be worn like clothes, accessories, shoes, coats, or devices that can be used like airpods and gaming consoles. Aside from that, fan letters were also inserted alongside the gifts, so Wooseok took his time sorting through all the gifts and reading the letters one by one with a smile slipping on his face every once in a while.

He put the letter he just read in the pile he had sorted out beside him and reached his hand for the next bag. And then his movement stopped for a second.

The bag which looked more plain and simple compared to others were dull yet also striking a strong impression. Wooseok instantly recognized it as the gift that came from Seungyoun.

He pulled the bag close to him and slowly slip his hands inside to take out the familiar white hoodie again. He had known the content of this gift far earlier compared to the other gifts, yet it was this gift that he held the longest in his hands as if he had just first seen it.

_“Let’s meet again if you have time later.”_

The white hoodie had a plain and simple design, and there was an English word of ‘freedom’ engraved in small letters at the left chest area.

_“Is it okay if we exchange numbers?”_

Wooseok remembered the friendly smile on that face while a slender hand holding a phone was held out to him.

And he also remembered himself giving the other his number without much question.

Playing with his phone briefly, his fingers then moved to tap on the screen. Under his contact list, the name ‘Seungyoun’ now existed under his newly registered contact. By having Seungyoun’s contact number, now he can also see Seungyoun’s messenger profile and status. Even his Instagram was also linked to Seungyoun’s. As an idol, he has an official Instagram of his own. But since he was not the type who usually use Insta, so he only updates content on it once in a while.

His Insta account was open for public viewing and following, so when he opened the notifications after a while of not checking them, the bar showed countless notifications stacked one upon another.

At that moment, he saw a new notification coming in.

_woodz_dnwm started following you._

woodz_dnwm. The name already gave itself off to who it was. With that one notification showing itself, Wooseok then knew that Seungyoun was also active on his Insta at the moment. He idly nibbled on his lower lip while he tapped onto the name. Instantly, he was brought to a page full of Seungyoun’s pictures. It took him quite a while to scroll through all the posts Seungyoun had throughout the years. It seemed that Seungyoun was more active in Insta than him, and was apparently more open in sharing his personal lives to people.

It was actually the first time Wooseok had this much interest towards someone on Insta. Wooseok knew many famous people had their own Insta account but he had never felt the need to search or follow them on Insta due to his lack of interest in using social media. But this time, his interest seemed to have shot over the roof as he found himself spending the hour away viewing Seungyoun’s Insta posts until the very end.

Seungyoun seemed to be the embodiment of a free-spirited person, a person who is not easily tied down by restriction or rules. He seemed to live his life by doing whatever he wanted and enjoyed each day living to the fullest. It was what Wooseok concluded in the end upon reaching the last post. Seungyoun’s vibrant colour was splashed in tiny dots and blots all over the pictures he took, giving an impression of the carefree life he had been living up until now.

It seemed to be a whole world apart from Wooseok’s own. So it made Wooseok came back to the same question that he had kept asking himself since he first saw Seungyoun-

_What is it about me that interests you?_

Wooseok quietly stared at Seungyoun’s profile picture which had him smiling wide as he posed with a V sign towards the camera. He took some time hesitating before he was able to press the follow button below the picture.

Sighing, he then put down his phone to his side. However not even a minute later, a new notification sounded on Wooseok’s phone. It was the notification sound of his messenger. He picked up his phone again and was surprised to see that it was a message from Seungyoun.

_Did you just arrive home?_

Wooseok blinked at the message. Caught offguard, it took him a few while to tap back a reply.

_Yes. A little while ago._

_You must be tired. Sorry for bothering you so late at night. I saw the notification on Instagram and realized you’re still up. I just wanna check on you._

Had he just been waiting on his Instagram all these while? The response was too fast.

When Wooseok was unable to come up with a reply, Seungyoun’s next message appeared.

_What’re you doing?_

The way Seungyoun talked then didn’t feel like how an interaction with a fan would be. Currently Wooseok had no idea either how to regard Seungyoun.

Wooseok quietly typed his reply.

_I’m opening fan’s gifts._

_Ah~ that’s right. There must be a lot to open._

There was a playful tone hinted to it. Seungyoun seemed eager as his messages started coming in consecutive succession.

_How about my gift? Did you try it out yet? Does it fit well?_

At this, Wooseok dug up the hoodie hidden underneath the pile of stuffs. He wore it over his shirt and stood up to look at himself in the mirror. Bringing his phone back up, he typed.

_Yes, it fits well. It’s exactly my size._

Wooseok decided to answer like that eventhough the hoodie was slightly oversized. The hands that typed on the phone was half covered so that only his fingers were visible.

_Haa~ I’m glad. I was really worried it might be too big for you._

Following that, an animated GIF of a smiling fox appeared. The end of Wooseok’s lips curled up slightly because of the similarity between the character and Seungyoun. Seungyoun’s preference to use the fox character must’ve been due to the fact that many people have liken him to a fox, though this was merely a one-sided guess made by Wooseok.

Due to the long silence that followed after, Wooseok thought it was the end of their conversation, so he was about to put down his phone until a notification of another incoming message from Seungyoun vibrated his phone alive again. 

_Wooseok-ah, are you free tomorrow?_

There it was again. Wooseok could feel it. That strange seriousness that would suddenly be felt out of nowhere. And with the way Seungyoun was slowly stripping off the layers of formality one by one with him made Wooseok uncertain on how to respond.

It was probably obvious to Seungyoun too that he was thinking about his answer judging from the lag in reply.

_Yes. Why?_

This time, it was Seungyoun who was taking his time to answer. For some reason, Wooseok felt slightly nervous waiting for the other’s answer.

_Wanna go for a drink with me tomorrow?_

At some point, Seungyoun seemed to have led the flow of conversation into a feeling of an atmosphere between friends. From the invitation, it was clear to Wooseok of Seungyoun’s intention of wanting to be friends with him.

Eventhough it was not a bad thing that Seungyoun wanted to be friends with him, the question still remained stuck to his head, replaying over and over like a broken record ever since the first time he laid eyes on Seungyoun.

_(Exactly what is it about me that interests you?)_

* * *

The promised time came earlier than expected.

Wooseok was in a contemplative state. He was sitting in front of his bed while staring at the white hoodie in front of him. In the end, he decided to not think too much and eventually picked the hoodie amidst all the other clothes he had lined in his cupboard.

He wore the hoodie over his black shirt and fixed his hair in the mirror briefly before heading out of his house. It was a personal meeting, so instead of his manager picking him up Wooseok had to head to the place by his own means. That was supposed to be his initial plan until Seungyoun messaged him half an hour prior to the meeting asking if he should pick Wooseok up.

Wooseok, who had some financial difficulty over the years, couldn’t have the chance to own a car yet. So when the manager wasn’t there to pick him up, Wooseok would just use public transport like other people.

_It’s okay. I can just take the bus._

It was a mistake though. Because the moment he indirectly revealed that he had no transport of his own, Seungyoun started to strongly insist to pick him up. In the end, Wooseok succumbed to Seungyoun and sent him a map of his house location through their messenger.

Standing outside wearing the hoodie Seungyoun gifted, Wooseok waited another ten minutes before Seungyoun arrived.

A black BMW pulled up in front of him. The mirror slid down to reveal Seungyoun’s apologetic face.

“Hi, sorry. There was a little traffic on the way.”

Wooseok could barely hear the apology as he marveled at the shiny sheen that coated the sleek black car as if it was still new. Swallowing unconsciously, he moved to the passenger side of the car and got into the seat after giving a greeting and a slight bow.

“Wooseok-ah.”

Seungyoun suddenly called out his name while he was fastening his seat belt. Surprised by the voice that sounded closer than he thought, he lifted his head up.

Seungyoun was looking at him with a bright smile etched on his lips.

“You’re wearing the hoodie I gave you. I’m so happy.”

Wooseok was momentarily distracted by the apparent happiness that was shown on the other’s face. Was it that big of a deal for him that he wore it? He averted his gaze away and lowered his head slightly.

“You went through all the trouble to give it to me…This is the least I can do for you.” It was the truth, afterall. He had always used the gifts he got from his fans because he wanted the fans to know that he appreciated every single thought and effort they spent on him.

Seungyoun was no different in that sense.

“Wooseok-ah.”

Seungyoun called out again after a while. Wooseok turned his head to look at the other, but Seungyoun had his eyes fixed straight ahead.

“Be comfortable with me. You don’t have to keep thinking about repaying me or anything. I just want to be a friend to you.”

“...”

“And you can drop the formality around me too. We are the same age.”

Even without Seungyoun telling him, Wooseok had known that fact too. That both of them were the same age, 24 years old. Yet despite that one common thing they shared, the fact still remained that Seungyoun was a sunbae who had debuted earlier than him, and whose success in career is much more prominent than him as well. Therefore, it was a little difficult for Wooseok to ignore all these and became comfortable.

When Seungyoun saw how Wooseok was worrying hard in his head, he opened his mouth again.

“What did I tell you the other day? I’m just a guy who loves to sing and perform, just like you. There is no difference between us.”

It seemed that Seungyoun was also the type to catch on people’s thoughts fast. The words that were said during his fanmeeting yesterday were repeated in his ears again as if to comfort him.

Wooseok nodded slowly after a while. As soon as Seungyoun saw that, his face lit back to its usual cheerful expression.

The rest of the trip consisted of them listening to the radio in the car with Seungyoun occassionally following to sing songs that he recognized. His voice sounded light and airy as he freely bended the notes according to his own style, and amazingly enough it turned out to sound even better than the original. Just like that, Wooseok experienced listening to a few song cover spontaneously made by Woodz in the car.

At that moment, a famous song by Day6 filled the car. Seungyoun made a sound of acknowledgement and glanced at Wooseok briefly.

“Didn’t you make a cover for this song a while ago?”

“Yeah.”

“I listened to it. It was really well-made.”

Immediately after the words of compliment left the other’s mouth, Wooseok’s cheeks started to warm up. Wooseok has always feel his singing skills are just average, so to hear Woodz who is on another level than him complimenting his work made him embarrassed and also proud at the same time.

“I wish I can make a cover with you someday. Don’t you think it’ll be a fun experience?” Seungyoun grinned. It was normal for a singer to ask another for a collab, either to attract more attention from people or to add dynamic to the song. Though currently Seungyoun seemed to just be genuinely seeing the prospect of collaborating with Wooseok as something he would enjoy doing.

Wooseok nodded, still with his cheeks slightly red. “That would be an honour for me, sunbae-”

But Seungyoun stopped him before he could finish.

“Just call me Seungyoun. I’m really not used having a same age friend calling me sunbae.”

“...Okay… Seungyoun.”

Then the smile returned to Seungyoun’s face again. Seungyoun seemed to be a person who was easily pleased. Earlier Wooseok worried whether he could adapt to the thought of being comfortable to Seungyoun, but now he realized it probably wouldn’t be that difficult given how Seungyoun naturally made one feel at ease. He wasn’t the type that was particular about seniority at all, if anything he seemed to be the type that treated everyone like equals. He had that vibe where everyone could be friends with him without worrying about age or status.

So Wooseok warmed up to him faster than he thought. As the night went on, the conversation between them became more active.

Maybe it was because of the influence of alcohol in his system, maybe it was because of Seungyoun who always grabbed any chance he could to make him laugh, so Wooseok started letting his real self loose gradually.

One glass after another emptied, then one bottle after another followed.

Wooseok stole the small glass from Seungyoun when he saw Seungyoun was about to drink another.

“Ya, you shouldn’t drink too much… How're you going to drive later if you’re drunk?” Wooseok’s voice was slurred as he murmured his complain. He seemed to have no intention to give the glass back to Seungyoun as he drank the content in Seungyoun’s behalf, then proceeded to continue drinking using Seungyoun’s glass still.

Seungyoun watched all these with amusement.

“Wooseok-ah, I’m not drunk.” Seungyoun calmly said. Since Wooseok didn’t want to let go of his glass, Seungyoun reached a hand out to take Wooseok’s but was immediately stopped by Wooseok’s grip on his wrist.

“Noo… you can’t. Its dangerous to drive when you’re drunk.” Wooseok frowned, soon taking away both glass from Seungyoun and hiding them underneath his hoodie, away from the other’s view.

There was a brief sigh from the other as Seungyoun covered his face that had became reddened. “Seriously driving me crazy…” A small laughter bubbled past Seungyoun’s lips as he watched Wooseok pulling out the glass again once he made sure that Seungyoun wouldn’t make any movement to take it from him. He started pouring soju into the glass again and raised it to his lips.

However before the rim could touch his lips, Seungyoun stopped him this time. Holding onto Wooseok’s wrist gently, he made Wooseok’s hand stilled halfway midair.

“Wooseok-ah, you should stop now. You’re drunk.” It was obvious from the way Wooseok’s small face had reddened and the way those half-lidded eyes were regarding him blearily as if unregistering of the current situation.

“I’m not.” Wooseok insisted, but the objection was half-hearted seeing how he barely had the strength to shrug Seungyoun off. Seungyoun kept both his hand and gaze steady onto him, but there was a soft warm expression on his face.

Wooseok blinked slowly at the sight. A moment of silence lapsed between them before Wooseok allowed his hand which was held by Seungyoun to fall back onto the table. The glass of alcohol forgotten, there was instead a thought which resurfaced in his mind.

Staring at Seungyoun after blinking a few more times, his lips parted open to give voice to the thought.

“What is it about me that interests you?”

In the end, he had to ask the one thing that made him curious the most.

During the fanmeeting where he first saw Seungyoun, it was this thought that first came up in his mind. What is it about me that interests you? Why did you become my fan? How did you come to know me? But Wooseok thought if he asked all these questions at that time, it would emphasize his pitiful state even more. In a hall of not even a hundred fans present, it was as if a slap to his face to see Seungyoun witnessing the sight.

No matter how hard he tried to deny it, in the end he had to admit he felt small in Seungyoun’s presence. And that was also the reason why he couldn’t easily accept that Seungyoun wanted to be friends with him.

The remaining useless pride he had towards his already failing career, the intimidation he felt against a figure who was bigger than him, they all spoke of how loud his insecurities were. Was it obvious to Seungyoun? Did Seungyoun notice how small he felt around him? Maybe that was the reason why Seungyoun kept saying to him to feel comfortable around him? Because he can feel that from Wooseok?

Fuck… How did he become so pathetic? Accepting his career slowly falling to ruin in front of his eyes and then now even unable to hide these shameful pathetic side of him in front of a person who he looked up to… It was so embarrassing that Wooseok wanted to die at the moment.

He hid his face in his arms in the rise of an incoming wet burn in his eyes.

He clenched his fists and weakly hit the table as tears fell down his cheeks, staining the tablecloth below into a few damp spots. The evidence was marked and it was hard to hide the fact that he was crying from Seungyoun now as his shoulders shook and sobs started to escape past his lips.

Seungyoun had been quiet ever since. Wooseok couldn’t see the expression on his face, and he didn’t want to see it either as he stubbornly kept his face hidden in his arms. The least he wanted was to face the pity in Seungyoun’s eyes.

“Wooseok-ah.” The voice was small, but loud enough to be heard through Wooseok’s sobs. When there was no response, Seungyoun called out again. How funny, because Seungyoun had kept calling him like these the whole day, Wooseok began to understand that it was Seungyoun’s way of asking for his attention.

“Wooseok-ah.”

“...”

Wooseok slowly lifted his face off from his arms, but he was still looking down. Now he could clearly see how damp the tablecloth below had became because of his tears.

Fingers reached out underneath his chin and carefully lifted his face. Wooseok’s vision which was blurred with tears was unable to identify the expression on Seungyoun’s face. It was only when he blinked that the remnant of tears slipped past his lids and cleared his field of vision.

Directly in his sight was Seungyoun who was looking at him with a hardened gaze.

It was not the expression that Wooseok expected.

“Wooseok-ah, I won’t let you fade away just like that. So please… just hang in there a little bit more.”

…What is this look you have on your face? Why are you looking at me as if you’re also in pain?

It was nothing like the Cho Seungyoun who only laughed and smiled in front of him all these while. He was unfamiliar to this miserable expression of Cho Seungyoun.

Why? Why do you look like that?

Was it because of me?

A thumb gently brushed off the tears on his cheek.

At that moment, Wooseok could only focus on the sad smile that broke on Seungyoun’s face. The sincerity reflected in those deep eyes was more real than anything he had ever seen.

Cho Seungyoun, are you like this because of me?

His head was spinning with all these thoughts as he felt himself being supported out from his seat and out into the night air. The cold air that slapped his face then briefly made him sober, and his desire to want to know the reason behind all these became stronger than ever.

He stumbled in his steps, but Seungyoun’s unfaltering hold on his waist steadied his footing back as the other led them back to the car. Like a sturdy pillar of support, Seungyoun prevented the shaky Wooseok from falling.

The drive back home was a quiet one. Seungyoun glanced in Wooseok’s direction every so often only to see Wooseok staring blankly into space. Even when he tried to make a conversation to gauge how the other was feeling, Wooseok didn’t respond. 

They pulled up in front of Wooseok’s house after a while. When Seungyoun saw no movement from Wooseok’s side, he took things into his own hand to unfasten Wooseok’s seat belt. The close proximity briefly made Wooseok’s eyes flicker into something akin to a response.

The worries which had accumulated from seeing Wooseok barely responsive since their journey back home finally got the best of Seungyoun. Resting his hand on top of Wooseok’s own, he proceeded to grasp the smaller fingers in his hand.

“Are you okay?”

Seungyoun asked, leaning towards Wooseok slightly. It was then that Wooseok finally made a move to acknowledge the presence beside him. His eyes met with Seungyoun’s worried ones as he turned to look at the other.

There it was again. That strange feeling Wooseok couldn’t describe whenever he looked into Seungyoun’s eyes which reflected only him. In that span of few seconds of fixed eye contact, the air between them gradually turned into something more.

Seungyoun realized this only belatedly after he found himself staring into Wooseok’s eyes for too long, hurriedly he tried to pull back but at that moment Wooseok’s hand clutched onto his tightly and pulled him back towards him.

The moment their lips met each other, all other reasoning vanished into thin air.


	3. Chapter 3

Cho Seungyoun had actually known Kim Wooseok since a long time ago.

When was it? Maybe it was 4 years ago, a year after his debut as Woodz?

It was when Seungyoun was still a fresh idol himself, still trying to build a career for himself. He was just going back and forth between one venue to another to perform, back then even the smallest gig was accepted by him just in order to earn a living and get his name known by more people. 

So he knew the hardship of going through an uncertain future better than anybody else.

However thanks to his wide social connection, he managed to make it by each day. He received guidance from seniors who have worked long years in the industry, learned valuable skills that are essential to survive from them, and along the way shaping his own colour as a musician by independently creating his own work. A large part of it was thanks to his connection with other artists which also shared the same passion in him in music as they offered opportunities for him to make experience in fields other than singing and dancing. So he learned rapping, composing and producing as well.

To add to that, his mother had always been supportive of him so eventhough there were times when Seungyoun felt like giving up, he had his mother to lean on back then.

Because of all the things he had to go through to reach to where he is now, Seungyoun understood people like Kim Wooseok the most.

The day he first met Kim Wooseok was purely out of coincidence. Kim Wooseok, the new freshly debuted idol, who will have his debut stage on a national music show. Before his first big stage, he politely met the other seniors in the backstage one by one to greet them and to ask for guidance.

Woodz was still a small name back then, and usually the new idols wouldn’t even bother to come to greet him due to his barely heard name. Some of them wouldn’t even know that he was an idol unless he explained himself. Therefore Seungyoun expected the newbie Kim Wooseok would act the same towards him too.

But a strange thing happened.

He was just sitting in a chair backstage waiting for his turn to be called. People who passed by him merely ignored his presence in the dark corner as they busily tended to their own business. Seungyoun was just playing with the hem of his shirt until he could feel someone standing in front of him.

“Excuse me…”

Seungyoun who didn’t expect anyone to approach him thought it must be the staff coming to tell him that he was next. Thinking there was no possibility of anything else, he stood up automatically and started fixing the mic cord around his ear.

“Oh, is it my turn now-”

Until his eyes caught sight of a guy who was dressed in a brilliant white from head to toe. The white stage costume was too blinding in the middle of the dark corner he was at. It created an effect akin to a heavenly glow which surrounded the guy’s smaller form.

The first impression of the guy was a really strong one due to that.

“Oh…?” Seungyoun made a dumb sound as he questioned the person’s intention.

“Woodz-sunbaenim… right?” As if wanting confirmation, it eventually ended in a question itself.

Seungyoun, still with a dumb expression, merely nodded his head at the mention of his name. Immediately after he did that, a bright smile began to form on the other’s lips. It was a smile that mirror the same intense glow like the other’s whole self.

“I’m Kim Wooseok. I will have my first debut stage today. I personally wanted to come and greet you. Sorry if I surprised you.”

Seungyoun can only see the smile on the striking features. It was a face that will be hard to forget no matter how Seungyoun think about it.

“Oh… That’s alright. I wasn’t doing anything anyways…” Seungyoun was fumbling to find words due to feeling flustered that someone was actually greeting him respectfully as a sunbae. It was not a normal occurence in the life of the small-time idol Woodz. He quickly recomposed himself.

“Did you say today is your debut stage?”

“Yes.”

Hearing the voice that contained excitement and eagerness, Seungyoun was thrown back into the memories of his first debut stage too. The starting point was full of innocence and the expectation that only good things will happen from then on. Looking at Wooseok, he can sense the same feeling coming from him.

Seungyoun smiled. “You seemed to have a lot of potential. I will pray for your success.”

At his words, Wooseok’s handsome face lit up even more. It was really a face that would be hard to forget, not just for him but for everyone who will lay their eyes on it. That was also the reason why Seungyoun could confidently say that Wooseok had a lot of potential in the first place.

He watched as Wooseok bowed gratefully to him.

“Sunbaenim, please guide me in the future too.”

“Of course. Come and see me if you ever need help. I'll help you if I can.”

And after that, he watched the new idol Kim Wooseok’s first debut stage. He saw the shine in those eyes, the emotions that were brimming in his expression as he sang out each note, he heard the sweetness, the sadness that flowed from the voice and thought Kim Wooseok wasn’t just all about the face, he had real talent and a good personality as well.

And because of that, Seungyoun found himself silently cheering for the other since then. In between moments where he took break from work, he kept track of Wooseok’s progress and saw how he was faring in other music shows, variety shows and interviews.

He thought Wooseok was doing well until then. Then for a while he became busy with work and didn’t have the time to check on Wooseok anymore. Still, he had always thought Wooseok will gradually soar his way to stardom given the time and Seungyoun would eventually hear from him again soon. He had confidence in that, so he didn’t let himself worry much.

Then one day when he went to a music show, he finally realized that it had been a while since he saw Wooseok. Show after show each week, there was still no sign of him, no news of his next comeback. Even when he checked videos about him, he can only find videos that dated around his debut time.

Months after his debut, his presence seemed to have dissipated into thin air.

For a while, Seungyoun wondered if something had happened to Wooseok.

Then one day he found his answer when he saw Wooseok in some small outdoor stage nearby a university. He didn’t know if he could even call it a stage. It was too narrow. There was barely enough space for the person on the stage to take their steps. He wouldn’t have expected Wooseok to be the one on the stage if it wasn’t for his voice which filtered through the speakers then.

People who didn’t know him continued to walk past without much interest, while the others who seemed to be his fans stayed by to watch him. Even then, the meagre amount didn’t seem fitting for an idol who had once debuted on the big stage of a famous music show.

Seungyoun stood in his black hoodie under a nearby tree, finally properly watching Kim Wooseok again after years of not seeing him.

He watched as Kim Wooseok sang to entertain his few fans, smiling brightly after his stage ended to come in contact with his fans. He did whatever his fans asked him to, signing, taking pictures, even hugging them, like a doll that was thrown back and forth to comply to people’s requests. Seungyoun couldn’t tell if they were really his fans or just random people who simply tried to take advantage making contact with him since he had the title of an idol.

It was night time when the event ended. The set was cleaned up by a few staffs including Wooseok himself, and Seungyoun continued to wait while thinking deeply about a few things in his mind.

Later Wooseok was seen going with his manager to a small eatery at the side of the street. Seungyoun didn’t mean to follow the other like this, but there was something that had been bugging him since earlier.

He discreetly sat somewhere behind the two, ordering his own drink and drinking quietly by himself. His black cap was pulled down lower to hide his face as he vaguely heard the conversation of Wooseok and his manager.

It was just the usual conversation between two adult men. About the event earlier, then about random things in life, about work, nothing that seemed to deviate out of the norm.

I see. Seungyoun thought. So you had been living a normal life after you disappeared. I thought I should be worried that something had happened to you, but if you’re living a life where you’re content with, then…

At that moment, the manager’s phone rang. Standing up, he went off for a while to talk to the person in the phone before coming back again.

“Wooseok-ah, my older sister is asking me to come see her suddenly. Seems like something urgent.”

As if understanding what it meant, Wooseok nodded once before smiling. “You can go first, hyung. I’m just going to drink a little more.”

“Really? Then, I’ll go first. Take care of yourself, Wooseok-ah. I’ll see you again tomorrow.”

Wooseok waved after the hurriedly leaving man. When the atmosphere settled down again, Wooseok continued drinking.

Maybe because Wooseok was now alone, so Seungyoun could feel the sudden change in the other’s behaviour. He glanced at the person who remained oblivious to his presence, who couldn’t stop drinking as he downed glass after glass of alcohol as if there was no end to it. As time passed, the misery surrounding the small form also started to become more apparent.

Wooseok was drinking while crying quietly by himself.

The dread that Seungyoun refused to acknowledge had finally confirmed itself. He watched silently as Wooseok raised his hand up and wiped his cheeks with the edge of his sleeves before bringing back the glass to his lips.

Seungyoun didn’t say a thing the whole time, didn’t approach the other, instead merely accompanied Wooseok without the other knowing his presence.

By the time three empty bottles laid finished on the table, Wooseok finally took his jacket and got up from his seat. Only after Seungyoun saw the small back disappearing outside did he got up from his seat too, paid, and followed after the other again. Not out of anything, but out of pure concern because of the body that seemed to sway unsteadily with each steps.

Somehow, his distance with the other had grown closer as he was prepared to catch Wooseok if ever the man stumbled. Thankfully though Wooseok successfully made his way to the bus stop without any accident along the way.

Seungyoun waited at the corner until the bus came and watched as Wooseok got onto the bus and sat on the farthest seat at the back. The last bus of the day left with only Wooseok as the passenger.

Once the bus went out of sight, Seungyoun slowly came out of his hiding corner and sat on the bench at the bus stop with a faraway look in his eyes.

Unaware of the hours that continued to pass by, Seungyoun continued sitting unmoving on that bench while remembering the quiet crying face for a long time.

* * *

For the next few months, Seungyoun worked like a crazy man.

Before this, he was merely content living a life that gave him enough of everything. Despite being an idol, he wasn’t really the type to be crazy about fame, rather he was more of the type who prioritized the freedom to do and express things as how he liked. Regardless of the outcome, he wanted to do things that make him happy. As a result, the name Woodz continued to stay low-profile for years.

But now, something had changed. Ever since that night, something seemed to have changed. His work colleagues and close friends noticed that about him too. How he would lock himself in his studio the whole day, not even seeing the sun for days. There would only be the faint sound of beats mixed with melodies if they put their ear close to the door.

Following that, Seungyoun started to become active producing songs. One song after another was released, and he started receiving offers to perform and promote his songs. Even then, he still didn’t stop making songs. It was as if the man was hit by a storm of inspiration as new songs kept coming out without seeing the end.

And then one hit was struck accurately in the right situation and the right timing, and finally one of his song rose all the way to the top of the charts for five weeks in a row. The instant fame he gained then had made his company very supportive of his future activities, so they started giving freedom to Seungyoun to plan his own agenda.

And the first thing Seungyoun did after that was to track Wooseok down, and he got wind about the fanmeeting that Wooseok will hold.

So he attended the fanmeeting and realized that Wooseok recognized him. Not because of their first meeting 4 years ago, but because he was well-known now. Seungyoun expected this situation, and he knew if it wasn’t because of his rising fame Wooseok probably wouldn’t remember him.

Even then, Seungyoun didn’t blame him. If anything, he only felt an inexplicable happiness from being able to talk to Wooseok again.

For 4 years, Kim Wooseok had been in his mind. And for a year, he worked really hard without knowing day or night to reach where he was. It was all for Kim Wooseok’s sake. And he didn’t regret a single thing about it.

Because now even if Wooseok cried while drinking, Seungyoun can be with him with the other acknowledging his presence. This time, Seungyoun was able to physically comfort Wooseok the way he had desperately wished to at that time. And that was why in the end Seungyoun didn’t regret having to work himself like crazy for Wooseok.

Because at some point of time, he began realizing what was this feeling he had for Wooseok. He is in love with him.

Seungyoun couldn’t pinpoint since when the feelings started developing, but the more he sees Wooseok the more these feelings within him intensify.

Still, he didn’t want to scare Wooseok away from him therefore he couldn’t tell Wooseok his real feelings. So the most he could ask for was for Wooseok to see him as a friend. At least, as a friend, he could be there for Wooseok whenever the other needed him for whatever matter it was. It was also because of Seungyoun’s selfishness to be the one who Wooseok could rely onto if he was going through a hard time. Seungyoun simply didn’t want to go through the same pain that he experienced that night of having to only watch and unable to do anything while Wooseok was crying in front of him.

Seungyoun really intended to ask for this much only. He didn’t dare to ask for more.

So when he saw the strange look Wooseok had in his eyes when he was checking on him in the car, he immediately realized something felt different than usual. Seungyoun had always thought Wooseok’s eyes were beautiful and in this close proximity, the glassy eyes seemed to be even more beautiful than ever.

When he realized he was staring into those eyes for too long, he quickly shook himself out from his trance and drew away from the other. What he didn’t expect was for Wooseok to pull him back towards him, surprising him and making him lose his balance.

The lips that met his next were warm, soft and full of sweetness just like how Seungyoun had imagined all these years. When Seungyoun realized it was Wooseok who kissed him first, all restraints that had been binding him snapped and he pushed back with a sudden sense of urgency.

They scrambled into Wooseok’s house in a rush of messy kisses and hasty movements. Seungyoun’s head was light with dizziness when reality became even clearer to him by Wooseok’s touch which was traveling like fire all over his body.

Wooseok wanted him just as much as he wanted Wooseok. And that fact alone made Seungyoun forget every other reasoning and let himself be completely honest with his feelings.

They didn’t even have time to switch on the lights as they struggled to get every piece of clothing out of the way. Wooseok’s back hit the mattress with a rushed exhale, following that Seungyoun’s body quickly climbed on top of him and teeth started nipping licking and biting every inch of skin that he could access on Wooseok’s body.

Wooseok wrapped his arms around Seungyoun’s neck as Seungyoun probed his tip at the entrance. His body stiffened in fear at his first penetration and Seungyoun immediately noticing this, lowered his head to kiss Wooseok tenderly on his lips. In his hazed mind, the pressure on his lips felt like flowing honey and Wooseok started relaxing as he became distracted tangling his tongue with Seungyoun.

Seungyoun tried to make it as painless as possible for Wooseok, but because Wooseok’s body wasn’t used to it, so he couldn’t help the few painful whimpers that escaped his lips involuntarily.

“Wooseok-ah, relax.”

Seungyoun’s voice was strained, as if he was holding himself back. Even after he helped to loosen the other a few times, it was still too tight for Seungyoun. It felt like he could come anytime if he didn’t hold himself back. It was really too much for him. It felt like his whole senses had gone overdrive from the feeling, sensation and the sight that was presented in front of him. He felt like he was about to go beyond his limit.

Arms pulled him back down and Seungyoun barely catch himself up with his elbows on each side of the other’s head. The eyes below him were looking straight at him, yet unfocused as lust clouded over the dark orbs. When red lips parted open and a small tongue peeked out to ask for a kiss, Seungyoun lost all rationality and since then succumbed purely to his instinct. Above, the kiss was wet and messy with mixed saliva, and below the thrusting was loud and erratic.

At some point, Wooseok also started to lose his mind and his body began contracting with the wave of pleasure that came crashing with each struck to a spot deep inside.

It was the first time he had felt this kind of feeling, and as if afraid of the newfound feeling he started clutching onto Seungyoun so tightly till his nails left marks on the other’s skin. He kept moaning incoherently while being rushed to the end. From above, Seungyoun was watching all these with his heart filled to the brim. He hugged the other’s head while words of love kept flowing from his mouth in hushed whispers.

As they reached their peak, Seungyoun’s breath grew harsher and harsher beside his ear before the other’s body turned completely rigid.

Heat pooled in a sudden gush below and Wooseok felt himself shivering as he followed suit with his own climax.

Wooseok blacked out immediately after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you will continue to show interest to the story ^^


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i enjoy reading what people think about the story. i enjoy communicating with my readers. thank you for these few meaningful comments i got which helped give me a different insight to the story. this chapter is a bit short, but next chapter will be longer. enjoy :)

Wooseok was in a frozen state for a long time when he woke up the next morning. The ceiling was still the ceiling of his room, and the surrounding was a familiar sight for him to recognize he was in his own house. What he couldn’t comprehend though was this irregularity that came in the form of his naked state and-

His wide eyes were fixed for what seemed like eternity on the naked Seungyoun beside him.

Still unable to process what had happened, Wooseok looked around him and saw the shirt and pants that he wore yesterday were laid haphazardly all over his bedroom floor, to add to the mix there was also Seungyoun’s clothes overlapping his.

It was the first time he had encountered this kind of sight in his 24 years of constantly waking up to a proper morning where nothing was out of ordinary. Today’s changes seemed to be a bit too much for him to take in.

…Think, Kim Wooseok. Don’t panic. Think. What happened yesterday? He only remembered drinking so much and at some point ended up crying. His memories was cut off until there when a throbbing headache prevented him from thinking further. He swallowed down the pained groan that was threatening to escape for fear that he would wake the sleeping man beside him up. It seemed like he wasn’t prepared at all to meet the other conscious self when he was still in a huge state of confusion like this.

Holding his forehead in his hand, he started to move quietly out of the bed. But before he could even land one foot on the floor, a sudden intense pain struck him from the back and he couldn’t resist the shocked sound of pain that escaped his lips then. Because he wasn’t prepared to handle the pain, his body lost his whole strength momentarily and he tripped over the sheets and fell down onto the floor.

A loud thud resounded in the room. By this time, it was not possible anymore to wish for a quiet escape.

A rustling sounded from the bed as the person left on there was awakened. A voice thick with sleep emerged from the bed.

“Uh… Wooseokie?”

Seungyoun’s voice searched for him.

Wooseok hurriedly pulled the towel from the rack beside his bed and covered himself up before Seungyoun could see him.

When Seungyoun couldn’t see him from the other side of the bed, more rustling sounded before his head peeked out from his side of the bed. It was then that their eyes met.

Seungyoun’s sleepy eyes were now a little bit more awake as he took in Wooseok’s dread-filled expression.

“...Are you okay?”

It was hardly the situation where Wooseok can answer him simply that he was okay, not even able to pretend he was okay either because this situation was obviously not okay to him at all.

Without answering anything, Wooseok wrapped the towel around himself before picking himself up again. The moment he did that, a sharp pain shot throughout his body again. It was then that reality hit him twice harder on the fact that he was trying to deny ever since he woke up.

He had slept with Cho Seungyoun.

He couldn’t remember in what state of mind he had been when he did that with Seungyoun last night, but he must’ve been definitely out of his mind.

His body, now more prepared to handle the pain, was able to lift themselves on its own feet at least, though the slight limp was unable to be obscured from view. In that instance, he heard Seungyoun getting up from his bed before a hand grasped his wrist.

“Painful?” Seungyoun’s voice was filled with apology and worry.

Despite that, Wooseok couldn’t even bring himself to face the other. He pulled his wrist away from Seungyoun’s grip and ignored the other while he continued limping his way to the bathroom across the room. The moment he closed the door, he made sure to lock it before sliding down onto the floor.

Wooseok felt himself going into a crisis as his body and mind became more alerted by the pain. He felt like utter shit right now, there was no other way to describe it. A fucked up situation was waiting for him outside, and he just wanted to stay in the bathroom unbothered for the whole day.

As he stood up again, he was faced with the huge mirror in the bathroom and his eyes remained stuck to it for a long time.

Crazy… he desperately looked at himself in the mirror as his hands went to touch all the red marks on his body. There were even several few on his neck and he had a momentary crisis again thinking about how he had to hide all these until they’re healed.

As if the proof wasn’t enough, it was that moment when he saw thick whitish liquid sliding down his thighs in a slow trail. Flustered out of his mind, he had to quickly turn on the tap and wash it off. The whole time he was cleaning it up, he didn’t realize he had been breathing hard out of anxiety.

He figured it wasn’t just him who had been out of his mind the whole night, Cho Seungyoun must’ve been in the same state too.

But even then this is really too much.

Wooseok showered and put extra force to clean his skin, as if wishing it could erase all the marks that seemed to be embedded permanently on his body.

While he was occupied with that task, a sudden memory hit him.

He remembered pulling the other to him and kissing his lips. Wooseok squeezed his eyes shut tightly as another wave of headache assaulted him.

Now that he think about it, doesn’t this mean that he initiated the whole thing first?

But one thing he was sure was that he did it because he wanted to confirm something. And because he was drunk, he suddenly had that stupid courage to do something as stupidly bold as that. In a way, it was also his own fault so even if he wanted to curse Seungyoun so much at the moment, he also wouldn’t be able to escape from the blame.

Still, he didn’t expect Seungyoun would respond to him with such fervor. As his hazy mind from yesterday night started to clear up bit by bit, he realized it was Seungyoun’s unexpected passion who had also gotten him carried away by the atmosphere between them last night.

And now he had another problem added to his mind with the confirmation that had extended into something more than he expected.

_“I love you, I love you so much, Wooseok-ah-”_

As the bits and pieces of his jagged memories started to fall into place, he also remembered the words that were whispered in his ear in continuous endless stream the whole time their body was connected.

Seungyoun seemed to have feelings for him. And it wasn’t the kind of feelings between friends.

Things started to become more complicated in Wooseok’s head the more he tried to sort through his tangled thoughts.

He didn’t know why but now he can only blame himself for that one moment where he was curious of the strange feeling he sensed from Seungyoun. It should’ve been better if he just pretended he didn’t notice it and ignored it in the first place. Now he had to question himself as well, as to why he decided to provoke an already ticking bomb. And now that everything had already happened, the effect of the disastrous event couldn’t be reversed anymore.

Wooseok cursed a few more times under the shower as he regretted over his action again and again. Even then, no amount of regret can help him deal with the situation he had to face later. He realized he didn’t even have anywhere to hide when Seungyoun started knocking on the door of his bathroom after a while.

The worry in that voice was still as clear as before.

“...Wooseok-ah, are you okay? You’ve been in the bathroom for an hour.”

Wooseok hated the current Seungyoun who wanted to pull him out from his hiding place. When he heard another hesitant knock, he grudgingly turned off the shower and grabbed his towel.

The door to the bathroom opened, and in front of him was Seungyoun. Seungyoun who was already fully dressed looked like he had been waiting in front of the door for quite a while.

Wooseok frowned slightly and turned away to head to his cupboard as if there was nothing to say. He quickly pulled on his shirt and his pants while Seungyoun was watching him quietly from his spot.

Wooseok tried to appear calm as he asked the other without even looking at him.

“Why are you still here?”

There was a moment of silence before Seungyoun’s soft footsteps headed in his direction. Wooseok tried to look unaffected when he met Seungyoun’s heavy gaze. Seungyoun’s eyes looked troubled as they trailed over the visible marks on Wooseok’s neck, the redness that marred the once used to be pale flawless skin seemed like a screaming imperfection now, making it impossible to ignore.

“I’m sorry. I think I got too carried away last night... I’m really sorry, does it hurt?” Seungyoun’s voice was small and soft as he asked this, hand raising up unconsciously towards Wooseok’s neck. Without realizing it, Wooseok’s hand had went to stop the other’s hand from coming closer. At that split second, Wooseok’s pupil seemed to shake with a sudden uncertainty.

“...”

Seungyoun who finally felt the full weight of realization sinking onto him, tried hard to suppress the disappointment and regret from showing through his contorted expression. His throat suddenly felt dry in the face of Wooseok who was refusing his touch.

“Wooseok-ah, listen. I know I went overboard last night. I was wrong. I’m sorry, I was just-”

“Cho Seungyoun.”

A firm voice cut him off, effectively sealing him into silence.

“...”

“What we did last night, was a mistake. You don’t have to apologize because it was a mistake. For both you and me.”

“...”

“So please forget what happened last night and lets not talk about it again.”

The grave seriousness in Wooseok’s voice conveyed his finality on it, leaving no room for the other party to say otherwise. Even as Seungyoun searched Wooseok’s eyes, there didn’t seem to be any sign of taking back what he had said.

Seungyoun averted his gaze away slowly and lowered his head after a long silence.

“...I understand.”

When he looked up again, Wooseok saw a new smile forming on Seungyoun’s face.

“I’ll go now. But you’ll continue to keep in touch with me… right, Wooseok-ah?”

At that moment, Wooseok couldn’t hold himself back from despising the smile that looked every bit of fake in his eyes.

* * *

Seungyoun swept a hand through his hair while staring at his desktop absent-mindedly.

He didn’t know how long he had been sitting in his chair like this. Somehow daytime had turned into nighttime and he found himself still in the same spot, not doing anything but just clicking aimlessly on his desktop.

Every so often, his gaze would fall onto his phone beside him. Whenever the phone screen lighted up with a notification, he would swiftly pick it up as if he was waiting for it. Yet, when he saw it was just a message from his friend or notifications from his social media, his fingers slowed down and he only replied to those with a half-hearted response.

His composer friend had been asking to meet for a while now, but Seungyoun kept delaying it with the excuse that he was busy with something else at the moment. He sent another message of apology saying to his friend that he had to postpone their meeting to another day and promised to inform the other if he is free.

Below the many other messages in his messenger, there was a message that he had sent which had remained unreplied.

It had been two weeks since he last spoke to Wooseok.

He tapped the chat window and scrolled through his one-sided messages that were sent in each few days interval.

_Wooseok-ah, good morning~ How are you today?_

_Did you know Day6 just came out with a new song? Did you listen to it already?_

_Wooseok-ah, my friend told me there’s a new delicious chicken feet restaurant in Gangnam. I saw you like eating that a lot when we went out together that day. Do you want to try this one out together?_

_Busy? I hope you’re eating and sleeping well. Let’s talk again when you have time ^^_

Except, they never talked again after they parted on that day. Or more like Wooseok never talked to him again since then.

Seungyoun sighed for the tenth time as he leaned back against his chair, rubbing his eyes roughly. He hadn’t been sleeping well the past two weeks. The moment he left Wooseok’s house on that day, he had been constantly punching himself over the head for his action. Guilt, remorse, disappointment and the most difficult to deal out of them all was the feeling of heartbreak as he remembered how Wooseok refused to let him come near.

Covering his face with his hand, he laughed weakly at himself. What made you think Wooseok would accept your feelings so easily in the first place? Cho Seungyoun, why are you such an idiot? Because you’re an idiot, you’ve scared the person you want to be the closest the most away. Before anything can even be built, you’ve already ruined it all into shambles. Now that it has come to this, is there even still a chance anymore to be friends with him? Is it possible to reverse everything back and asked for Wooseok to be friends with him again? Afterall, Seungyoun initially only intended to want this much from Wooseok. And the moment that thought came to him, he sighed again in exasperation at his own selfishness.

Things really got fucked up. He knew well at that time that Wooseok was drunk and not in his right mind, and yet even knowing that he went on with his feelings without thinking. Of course the consequences that came later was his own to bear.

Despite him apologizing repeatedly to Wooseok, it didn’t seem like the other had forgiven him.

Afterall if the other had forgiven him, he would already be replying to Seungyoun by now. It seemed that something between them had remained broken, irreparable since that day and Seungyoun didn’t know how to fix it back.

Heading to the refrigerator and taking out a can of beer, he popped it open and drank without restraint, welcoming the searing burn that instantly poured down his throat. He sat back in front of his desktop while his hand started to be busy clicking on his work files. In a second, melodies from a half-done song filled the room.

Another day which went by without any news from Wooseok, he spent it intoxicating himself in music and alcohol yet again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait, i had a slight writer's block. but as promised, this chapter is longer. enjoy ^^

Wooseok had been doing well avoiding Seungyoun for the whole two weeks. Even if Seungyoun sent messages to him, he ignored them and left them unread in his messenger.

Eventhough he had established what had happened between them on that day was merely a mistake, it still didn’t change the fact that something had happened between them. And the lingering discomfort was too much for Wooseok to bear, so he simply decided it was best that he avoided the other altogether.

So he got himself busy focusing on his work or practice for the whole two weeks. And though the moving on from Seungyoun part went on smoothly, his career was still stuck in the same rut. Despite how hard he practiced and improved himself, there wasn’t any method to pull himself out from this inevitable ruin which was just waiting for its time to come.

As the work became lesser and lesser each month, he pretended to be okay and practiced harder in the pretense that things might be better one day. Albeit as much as he waited for one good news, only silence met him for weeks.

As he realized his contract was also nearing its termination date, he unconsciously began counting down to the day his career will end.

It was a little funny though seeing him trying to be optimistic till the end when it had became obvious how his future will be from then on.

When he went for his monthly meeting with his president, the discussion was merely to inform him of his schedule in his last remaining month. There was hardly any suggestion about renewing contract or anything close to that sort. Of course when an idol couldn’t even bring a significant profit for the company, it was much more beneficial to terminate the contract completely. With that realization, Wooseok suddenly felt as if all his past efforts were just meant to be buried without any value in the end.

Still, he went through the remaining of his schedules without complaining. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he felt like he didn’t have the right to in this matter.

At least, this last one month, he will work hard to keep the one and only right that he still had which was to continue giving happiness and love to his fans while he still has time. He wondered how he should break it out to them on his last day with them later. But isn’t it going to be too sad? He had to think of a way to deliver the news in a happy way.

As he was worrying his lower lip thinking about it silently in his room, a call suddenly came.

Snapped out from his thoughts, he grabbed the phone that was vibrating lively on the table. He read the name that was displaying on the screen briefly and realized it was his manager.

“Yes, Seungwoo-hyung?”

_-Wooseok-ah, you won’t believe what you’re about to hear._

“...? Why? What’s happening?”

He heard the excitement in Seungwoo’s voice and couldn’t help from asking. It was not usual afterall to hear this kind of voice coming from Seungwoo, and to add to that the matter seemed to be something important seeing that Seungwoo had to call him just to deliver the news.

_-I just received a call from the president. The president wants you to come to the company now because he needs to talk to you about something._

“About what?”

Still confused, he continued to probe for answers from Seungwoo. Judging from Seungwoo’s current mood, it seemed that he knew something else that Wooseok didn’t.

_-...You’ll hear about it yourself later. For now, wait in front of your house. I’ll come and pick you up._

Even towards the end, the hint of a smile could be heard in his voice. When the line was disconnected, Wooseok frowned at his phone for a good few minutes.

For some reason, not knowing what it was made Wooseok anxious. So he spent some time sitting on his bed with his mind swirling with possibilities. It was obvious from listening to Seungwoo earlier that it had to be something good. Seeing that the president was involved too, it definitely had to be regarding his career or work matters. But what else is left that can be so good for someone like him whose career is going to expire soon?

Because he couldn’t come up with any likely possibilities, he decided it was futile to continue thinking any further. Picking himself up, he got dressed and went outside to wait for Seungwoo to come.

Five minutes later, Seungwoo arrived and Wooseok got into the car. Seungwoo was smiling widely while greeting Wooseok. As suspected, it must be a good news. Though knowing just that didn’t help to alleviate his curiousity.

As much as he tried to prod Seungwoo, the latter really was intent to not spill anything, merely smiling in that annoying way of his while Wooseok had to sit in his seat feeling on edge the whole time. When they arrived at the company later, Seungwoo said he will just wait in the car until he was done, so Wooseok went up to meet the president by himself.

He knocked on the mahogany door once he reached the president’s room. There was a brief ‘come in’ sounding from the other side. When he opened the door, he was greeted with the expectant face of the man inside. A smile that he rarely seen on the older man’s face seemed to be a constant the moment the other’s eyes laid on him.

Suddenly the president’s behaviour seemed so foreign and different to him as he was ushered to sit on the sofa in an eager manner. The excitement that he saw on Seungwoo’s face earlier was mimicked in the president’s expression as well.

Not knowing how he should react, he awkwardly took a seat on the other’s suggestion. The older man took a file from his table and then proceeded to sit across from him. A pleasant smile was spread across the other’s face as he looked at Wooseok.

“So I called you here today because I have good news for you.”

The president took out his phone from his pocket and started scrolling through something on his screen.

“Do you know Woodz?”

At the mention of that name which he hadn’t heard for the past two weeks, his body stilled. Why is that name coming out suddenly? And here out of nowhere?

“...Yes. But… what about him?”

“Listen to this.”

As if finally finding what he wanted in his phone, the president tapped on his screen with a victorious smile then moved to lay the phone in front of him.

Soon a slow beautiful melody flowed out from the phone speakers, filling the whole room. After the short sweet introduction, a familiar voice followed. A high voice with a light and airy quality which he recognized started singing lyrics to match with the melodies in the background. Wooseok was silent and unmoving the whole time listening to it.

The president waited for the song to end before he opened his mouth to speak again, still in that same excited tone of voice.

“What do you think? Its a great song, isn’t it? Well, that’s what you’d expect from a famous composer.”

“...What’s all this about?” Wooseok lifted his head up slowly and asked the president.

“Woodz sent a song to us earlier, saying he wanted to give it to us without any fees.”

“...”

“His only request was that he wanted you to be the one to sing it.”

At that, Wooseok’s expression cracked.

“Isn’t it a good thing? We get to have a good song from Woodz without paying anything, and you get to come out with a song again finally after so long. Besides I can feel this song’s potential to become big, all you need to do is just to sing it well now.”

Oblivious to Wooseok’s expression which had gradually became darker with each passing second, the president continued to be carried away babbling his anticipation upon imagining people’s positive reception towards the song.

“For now, you can go home and study the lyrics and notes.”

A file which the president had kept by his side from earlier was handed into his hands. Wooseok held it wordlessly.

“Tomorrow you can start coming for practice, and next week we can start preparing to record the song.”

As if expecting that there was no possibility where Wooseok would reject such an offer, the president revealed his schedule for him which he had one-sidedly planned in advance. The previously empty schedule was now suddenly filled with a lot of activities and practice sessions.

Unable to say anything, Wooseok nodded slowly.

After he came out from the room with the file in his hand, he continued to stay silent however the steps that were heading to the elevator were gradually becoming faster and impatient. He finally realized what he had been feeling as he tried to put a name to the emotion that was swirling turbulently within him. Suppressed anger. When he got into the elevator waiting to head down, he took out his phone and finally unearthed the chat window which had been left buried for the past two weeks.

He tapped on the message window and started typing line after line furiously, but his fingers stopped halfway through it. Taking a deep breath, he deleted everything and started typing with more ease. In the end, only a single line was sent.

_Are you free now?_

In his fit of anger, he couldn’t even care at the fact that he was asking his own question over the many unreplied questions Seungyoun had sent him over the two weeks.

The message was seen as soon as he sent it. The reply was also immediate, as if the other person had been waiting all along.

_Yes._

Wooseok typed again.

_Can we meet this afternoon? I have something I need to talk to you about._

* * *

The location for the meeting was set with only a few words exchanged through their messages.

When Wooseok arrived at the cafe where they were supposed to meet, Seungyoun was already waiting at a table in a casual white shirt and jeans. As his seat was facing the entrance, therefore Seungyoun noticed Wooseok immediately the moment the latter appeared through the door. Seungyoun raised a hand up to make the other notice him, and Wooseok who saw that made his way to the back of the cafe where Seungyoun was sitting.

As he took a seat across from Seungyoun, he noted the other’s appearance.

Seungyoun seemed to have lost some weight. The cheeks seemed thinner and the jawline seemed sharper. Under the lights, the dark circles under his eyes were visible too. Noticing all these changes in one look, Wooseok felt somewhat at a loss of word.

“Hi. It’s been a while.”

Still, if there was one thing that hadn’t change, it was the usual smile of Seungyoun. The same wide smile which made his whole face light up, though it felt like something was slightly off about it this time.

“Do you want to order something? I’ll go and order for us.”

Despite the fact that Seungyoun arrived earlier, the latter seemed to be purposely waiting for him before ordering. Wooseok hesitated slightly but opened his mouth when he realized the other was looking intently at him.

“...Iced americano for me.”

“Okay, wait here. I’ll come right back.”

Seungyoun smiled again before heading to the counter to place their orders. He was leaning at one side of the counter while waiting for their orders to be served. During that period of time, Wooseok prepared the words he wanted to say in his mind.

A couple of minutes later, Seungyoun came with their drink in both his hands. The two transparent cup showed dark black liquid which were similar to each other. When Wooseok stared at the other’s cup after receiving his, Seungyoun spoke as if he could read the other’s mind.

“I like iced americano too. Guess we have the same taste in coffee?”

The tone of his voice was a playful one. He poked a straw through his cup before proceeding to sip the dark bitter liquid inside. Everytime Wooseok had his first sip of the bitter americano, it always made him scrunch his face up involuntarily. Looking at the other’s expression which remained cool and unchanged, Wooseok guessed Seungyoun must really be used to drinking americano a lot.

They sat in silence for a while with Seungyoun leisurely drinking and Wooseok not touching his at all but merely watching the other. Despite how deceptively relaxed the atmosphere between them were at the moment due to the influence of the mellow cafe, Wooseok still hadn’t forgotten the reason he wanted to meet Seungyoun in the first place.

“You…”

The first word that came out of Wooseok’s mouth finally gained the attention of Seungyoun. The other’s slanted eyes met his in a sideway glance.

“Why did you do that?”

Except from the conflicted tone in his voice, he thought it came out unexpectedly calmer than he imagined.

A few hours ago, he remembered all the angry words that he wanted to say to Seungyoun. In fact, he was still angry when he arrived at the cafe earlier. But after he saw Seungyoun’s condition which was worse than he thought, suddenly there was only a feeling of discomfort instead of anger.

It was because he was reminded of the fact that he had been ignoring Seungyoun for the past two weeks. The messages that came in a cheerful way were somewhat annoying to Wooseok so he didn’t feel like replying to it. He should know better though. Seungyoun was always good at faking his cheerfulness after all. Despite the cheerfulness that kept showing on his face, this time it was undeniable that the other had reached his limit as well.

The exhaustion could be seen even through the smiles now. Maybe that was what he felt was off when he first saw it.

And then there it was again. The tired smile that curved his lips as the other regarded him as if already expecting this question.

“Why did I send the song to you? Because I want to.”

The answer was simple. Because you want to? However Wooseok only frowned at that, as if still not satisfied.

“And why is that?” He asked again.

“Do I really need to give a reason for that? I can’t do it just because I want to?” Seungyoun reasoned easily again while sipping his coffee.

Somehow Wooseok felt as if the other was trying to avoid his question, so he felt the frustration that was forgotten previously coming in full force again. He had tried to deny this the first time the thought came to him, but if this was really the reason why Seungyoun sent him the song, he thought he wouldn’t be able to tolerate it.

“Did you send it to me because you pitied me?”

Wooseok felt his tongue burning the moment the words escaped his mouth. Pity. It was the word he hated the most. It was the emotion he hated the most seeing from others, yet it was also the one emotion where he felt he had received the most in all his years of living as a ruined idol.

Pitiful gaze everywhere. Eventhough the pity was sometimes hid well from people’s face, he felt as if he could read what they were thinking in their minds and it trampled on his pride badly.

Wooseok remembered starting with so much expectation from people around him, yet as time passed by somewhat the expectation seemed to turn gradually into pity or sympathy or a sense of disappointment following the deterioration of his career. And what he hated the most was how he started pitying himself too at some point, when he became so aware and conscious of how people looked at him that in the end he too _had_ to feel pity for himself and his situation then.

Therefore, he hated the word and emotion pity more than anything else in the world.

And he hated with every fiber of his being when the thought that Seungyoun was doing this because he pitied him came to his mind. He couldn’t shake off this thought because he knew Seungyoun had seen that side of him. When he was a drunk mess and pathetically crying all his insecurities out that one night, Seungyoun had seen all of that shameful side of him which he desperately wanted to hide from people.

It was also one of the reason why he wanted to avoid Seungyoun since then.

“...”

“That’s right, that must be the reason. When I think about it again, there is no reason why a big star like you would even like me in the first place. It doesn’t make any sense. I’m just a ruined idol who is waiting for his end to come.”

“...”

“Even the president has given up hope on me a long time ago. Then what? Suddenly coming to me today with an optimism he had never shown me before and telling me I received a song from the famous Woodz? And do you know what’s more funny, I couldn’t even say no because it was something that was too good to be true for someone like me to have. It seemed that everyone thought so too apparently. In the end, even if my heart wanted to reject it knowing you did it out of pity, I couldn’t even do that because I knew I’m not in the right position to object anything-”

“...It’s not like that.”

“-its funny right how someone like me still had so much pride even in this position? I’m in a position deserving pity from others, I’ve even said this to myself at times just to comfort myself, but somehow the more I said this the more I hated myself. But then who am I to ask otherwise when I’ve been nothing but a failure-”

“I said it’s not like that!”

Wooseok who couldn’t stop talking was suddenly silenced by a loud angry shout.

Wooseok stared wide-eyed at the other’s angry face. It was the first time he had seen such an expression on the other. It felt like the mild, always-relaxed Seungyoun who Wooseok remembered was a totally different person in the face of this angry Seungyoun who was glaring exasperatedly at him at the moment.

Wooseok’s lips which was hung open pursed themselves back when he finally registered the situation. If Seungyoun hadn’t stopped him, he would probably still be carried away by the rush of negative emotions that had overtaken his thoughts. He lowered his face down slightly and swallowed the thick lump in his throat in the sudden awkwardness that hung in the air.

A heavy sigh sounded in front of him, when Wooseok dared to bring his gaze up again there was a frown marring the other’s features. Seungyoun brought a hand up to rub his face, as if to calm himself down. Wooseok suddenly couldn’t understand the other’s reaction. Why are you angry at me all of a sudden? Aren’t I the one who should be angry?

Another sigh and finally Seungyoun looked at him again. The expression on his face had became completely serious.

“Wooseok-ah. Listen well.”

“...”

“I didn’t do it because of pity. I never pitied you. I just-”

Seungyoun’s expression became briefly distorted before his head shook itself quickly.

“...No, it doesn’t matter. Anyways, if you can’t believe me, then it’s fine. Just…”

“...”

“Just please let me help you.”

The sincerity that was reflected in those desperate eyes then reminded Wooseok of that night when words similar to these were also spoken from Seungyoun’s mouth.

“You can hate me if you want, but please just let me help you this time.”

Wooseok quietly stared into those eyes that never left his.

Why are you the one who had to look so desperate like this? Just when Wooseok thought the truth was in his grasp, suddenly it became so far out of his reach again. Somehow there was a sudden ambiguous feeling that brought a sense of anxiety to creep into his conscience.

It was strange the more he thought about it. To see someone go this far, looking at him with all these emotions that made him doubt even himself-

He felt as if the more he tried to unveil the meaning behind it the more he was slowly inching himself to the edge of the cliff.

In the end, Wooseok stopped and didn’t dare to take another step further in fear of falling.


	6. Chapter 6

Seungwoo watched as Wooseok kept drinking glass after glass without talking a single word. When Wooseok noticed the stare that he was getting, he raised a brow up in question.

“What?”

Seungwoo, looking confused himself, ended up asking what he had been thinking for a while.

“I thought it’s supposed to be a celebration. But why are you drinking like a miserable man?”

“...”

Wooseok’s movement was stopped only for a brief second before he lifted the glass back up again.

“You’re thinking too much, hyung. I’m not feeling miserable.”

“Then why are you not saying a single thing the whole time?”

Seungwoo had been Wooseok’s drinking buddy ever since he became the other’s manager. When they go out to drink to celebrate something, Wooseok always had a lot to talk. But the mood at the moment, rather than reflecting a happy occasion, seemed more like a depressing occasion. Therefore Seungwoo couldn’t shake off this feeling that something was off and had to point it out to Wooseok.

Wooseok finally released his hold on the glass after a while, laying his hands down on his thighs underneath the table. He glanced at Seungwoo briefly before averting his gaze onto the table in a somewhat avoiding manner.

“Just… I’m trying to process everything in my mind still.”

Seungwoo was quiet as he continued to listen to Wooseok who resumed with a small sigh.

“I just thought there is nothing left for me and suddenly this… this unexpected news came out from nowhere. I’m happy, of course. It’s just that I feel like I can’t really believe if this is really happening.” Wooseok blinked a few times as if trying to confirm his reality.

Seungwoo then smiled in understanding.

“I see. Well, I guess that’s understandable in your point of view. You can take your time taking everything in. I know you’ve been waiting for this for a long time so its a little hard to believe at the moment… But I’m sincerely happy for you, Wooseok-ah. From now on I hope you can just take all these things positively and work with a relaxed mind.”

Seungwoo had been with Wooseok ever since he debuted. Being the other’s manager, he knew of Wooseok’s struggle with his career. In the beginning, it felt like everything was going well for Wooseok with the constant attention he was getting from media right after his debut. But due to the lack of activities, the attention slowly faded off. He wondered if the company will make any further plans to make a comeback for Wooseok to improve the other’s situation, but at that time it seemed like the company had pushed the other to the back in favour of focusing on the company’s new group which was going to debut soon.

Since then, Wooseok had been covered in a constant veil, gradually accumulating dusts as time passed until his name couldn’t be heard anymore.

It was a result of bad management by the company. A mistake which had cost Wooseok his whole future.

Until now, Seungwoo still couldn’t understand why something as preventable as that can happen when the process had always been the same all the time. The most attention an idol would get is always during the time of their debut due to the new face factor, therefore whenever an idol reaches their peak of fame after debuting, it is imperative to keep the interest high by scheduling more promotional activities or another comeback. However the golden time was missed due to the company’s neglect, the attention wane rapidly due to the fast-moving pace of the entertainment world and eventually Wooseok’s presence was erased amidst the massive number of new idols who debuted after him. Since then, his career had only been heading in a continuous downward trend, sinking deeper and deeper until it seemed as if there was no more chance to emerge from that deep slump he was in.

By the time the company decided to focus on him again, it was already too late. After that, they never tried to give him another chance to have a comeback, instead merely waiting for the day for his contract to end. Wooseok never had the chance to stand on a big stage anymore too since then, his activities were only confined to doing small events around the city leaving him little chance to gain the recognition he needed. In a simple but harsh way to interpret all these: Wooseok was thrown away by the company.

And to think that it all started due to the irresponsibility of the company, then to add salt to the wound Wooseok had to see his career nearing its last day while still continuing to bear the irresponsibility of his company to the very end. It was a cruel reality for Wooseok.

Wooseok had been suffering and Seungwoo knew all about it. Seungwoo had always hoped that Wooseok would be given another chance to prove his potential, but no matter how many times he tried to ask kindly for the president’s favour, it didn’t seem like the president had any intention to invest on Wooseok any further.

Therefore this morning when the president called him mentioning a comeback plan for Wooseok, he can only feel genuine happiness for his dongsaeng who had gone through so much. At last after such a long wait, Wooseok will finally have the chance again to do the one thing he had been deprived from. At least for the last one month before his contract ended, he wanted Wooseok to be truly happy working.

Though there was also that, there was another more important thing which Seungwoo was hoping the most for Wooseok. For the comeback to be successful and turned his career to a 180. That would be the most ideal situation for Wooseok in his current state. He thought it would be good if the other can look at this opportunity in a positive way and put hope on it. Afterall it can be a driving motivation to make the other perform better too.

…Other than that, he also kept reminding himself that he needed to do this one thing if he ever got the chance.

Which was to convey his thanks to the person who had saved his dongsaeng.

Woodz, the guy who had given the song to Wooseok and influenced their president into preparing a comeback for Wooseok. He was the force behind all these. The opportunity couldn’t have been created without his help in the first place.

Now thinking about it, there was one thing he couldn’t help but to be curious about.

“Wooseok-ah, by any chance did you and Woodz know each other before this?”

Because no matter how he thought about it, it would be strange for Woodz to simply give a song to Wooseok like that without any prior contact to each other. There must be some kind of connection between them that Seungwoo didn’t know. And because Wooseok has a small circle of friends, so it was easy to remember all of them. However Seungwoo didn’t remember Woodz being included in there though. And fully aware that Woodz is a famous figure among celebrities, it would be impossible to miss him if he is really one of Wooseok’s friends.

As he was distracted raking his mind in case of a missing memory, Seungwoo missed the hesitation that crossed past the other’s expression then. It was only when Wooseok moved to nod his head slowly that Seungwoo started focusing back on the other.

“Really? You two are friends? Since when?”

“Just recently.”

When he realized Wooseok didn’t seem eager to explain more, he took it in his own hand to question further.

“So the two of you are just friends?”

“...What else can we be other than just friends?”

“No, that’s not what I mean… I mean he must’ve been a really close friend to help you this much.”

“...I guess so.”

Wooseok continued to be tight-lipped until the end.

Not for any other reason, but because Wooseok himself didn’t know how to answer Seungwoo. He himself didn’t know what Seungyoun was to him. Due to his own confusion and his own uncertain answer, he started feeling awkward.

To distract himself, he picked his glass up and started drinking again. Unlike him though, Seungwoo seemed to have completely lost interest in drinking as he fished out his phone and started tapping on the screen.

For a while, Wooseok contiued to drink by himself while Seungwoo continued to be busy looking intently at something on his phone screen.

“What are you looking at?”

In the end, feeling ignored, Wooseok asked with a frown as he leaned towards Seungwoo to peek at the other’s phone. As if uncaring, Seungwoo continued doing what he was doing without even glancing at Wooseok once.

“Following Woodz Insta. Wow, but looking at his posts, this guy kinda give an unusual vibe.”

Seungwoo continued to muse to himself in wonderment as he scrolled through picture after picture. Somehow the reaction reminded Wooseok of himself the first time he went through Seungyoun’s Insta too.

“But how did the two of you become friends?”

As Seungwoo continued to go through Woodz Insta posts, he could feel almost no similarity to Wooseok. Woodz and Wooseok seeemed to be two people who were so different from each other that it was hard to imagine their world coming together.

It was also the same exact thought that Wooseok had in mind for weeks. Two unlikely people coming together, if it was not because of Seungyoun who was always trying to keep in touch with him, it would probably be hard to imagine their relationship going anything beyond an acquaintance. 

Wooseok had been trying to define their relationship many times. In the beginning, he had seen Seungyoun as merely a fan. Then that quickly developed into friendship after a few conversation. Before he knew it, that friendship that was developed quickly was also ruined immediately after just one night. Now he reached the point where he doesn’t even know what they are to each other. Can they still be called friends? It’s hard to pretend everything is fine and continue being friends after that mistake.

Wooseok was in a dilemma himself, in the end he could only opt to answer in the same vague way.

“Just… naturally.”

Even then, it was a big lie considering how unnatural everything between them was. Not the slightest bit the kind of natural friendship that Wooseok had imagined. When it came to matters about Seungyoun, everything seemed to be a mess in Wooseok’s head.

In the end thinking about it, Wooseok realized Seungyoun might be the reason why it was hard for him to believe this situation he was in until now.

_You can hate me if you want, but please just let me help you this time._

Remembering Seungyoun’s words, Wooseok’s mind became as complicated as it was when he first heard them. At that time, because he didn’t know what to say to Seungyoun, he wasn’t able to say anything back to the other.

Seungyoun had left immediately after that and no more messages followed since then, but Wooseok knew that they would meet each other again soon.

And when they meet later, he really had no idea how he should treat or regard Seungyoun.

* * *

Wooseok worked hard to prepare for his comeback. Leaving in the early morning hours when the sky was still dark and coming back home only when it was way past midnight. The sudden shift from a life where he had a lot of free time to a life where he was busy from day to late night, Wooseok had to take time to adapt to it yet he felt happy eventhough it was tiring.

Having something to do distract himself from feeling anxious, and Wooseok thought being tired was a hundred times better than being tortured by anxiety. Because at the end of the day when he returned home, he would be so tired that he would fall asleep without having any time to think or worry about anything else.

Throughout the whole week, Wooseok had been dedicating every hour of his time to practice the song. Attending vocal lessons, correcting and improving any part which was lacking according to the teacher’s suggestion, Wooseok also put in his two cents into what he thought would fit with the song.

It was another night where it was way past midnight when Wooseok finally left his company’s building. The street was empty with only lighted streetlamps at the side. Wooseok shivered while making his way to the bus stop. Because today he was going to stay back till really late at night, so he had informed Seungwoo in advance that he will go back home by himself. The other insisted that he can wait but Wooseok didn’t want to make him wait too long because he really didn’t know what time he will leave. Besides, he knew he wasn’t that known so even if he walked on the street by himself, people wouldn’t approach him. To be honest, his presence had been more like a commoner rather than an idol so he experienced being outside without being noticed all the time.

He walked the few minutes trip to the bus stop nearby quietly. The cold night caused his breath to come out in visible puffs, and when a particularly strong wind whooshed past, he shivered again before wrapping the white padding around himself tighter.

Eventhough it was cold and the street was empty and quiet, Wooseok enjoyed the whole atmosphere of it. When he reached the bus stop and sat down, he took out his earphones from his pocket and plugged it to his phone. As the bus was taking some time to arrive, he spent his waiting time to listen to his playlist.

To be exact, it wasn’t even a playlist seeing how it only consisted of one song. Yes, these days he had just been listening to this song over and over. Of course given that it was the song which he had to prepare for his comeback it was only right that he only focused on it the whole week. But aside from that fact, there was also another thing he couldn’t deny.

He was addicted to the song. Whenever he had free time, it had became a habit for him to plug in his earphones like this and listen to the song, like a compulsion. It had reached to the extent where if he didn’t hear it at least a few times a day, he would start obsessing with the thought of needing to listen to it as the song started playing faintly in his ears to remind him.

The first time he heard it, it had already brought a strong impression to him. Now after so many times hearing it, he was pulled into the song completely.

There was something about the song, something about the voice that sung it that made Wooseok fell so deep into it. As days passed studying the lyrics and emotions behind the song, he slowly began to grasp what the song was about.

About a loved one’s absence. About one’s longing to reach out, to comfort, to express their feelings, yet unable to. About one’s wish to only want their loved one’s to be happy and smiling.

The whole mood of the song carried a sense of deep, deep longing and yearning.

It was a sad song, yet full of beautiful emotions at the same time. And Seungyoun’s voice which worded out each lyrics was a mix of desperation, longing, sadness and also hope all at the same time.

Wooseok had never heard such raw naked emotions coming from this voice before. It was as if Seungyoun was trying to tell his story to the listeners so that when Wooseok began to listen, he couldn’t stop until he reached the end.

_I can’t touch you_

_I can’t call out to you_

_I can’t be with you_

_Even if it hurts_

_Do not cry_

_Do not be sad_

_I want to see you smiling more than anything_

For a while, Wooseok continued listening to the song quietly, merely soaking in the emotions that were overflowing from the song.

When the bus came, Wooseok boarded the bus, took a seat at the back row and watched the city lights passed by through the window while the song continued to play on repeat. Before realizing it, he found himself slowly mouthing along to the lyrics of the song.

In the bus where he sat all alone by himself, his world then seemed to consist of only blurred passing lights, him and Seungyoun in his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i recommend listening to [Voice of the Forest](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91YDfSqhg_Q) while you read the last part. seungyoun's song to wooseok emits the same feeling as this song. the lyrics in the story are also heavily referred to this song. in fact it is a song that wooseok always listen to these days :) please do hear it if you have time because it reflects the story's theme and feeling as a whole. 
> 
> thanks for staying with the story ^^ please continue to leave kudos and comments to motivate this easily-fired up writer.


	7. Chapter 7

The day of the recording arrived. Wooseok who could only prepare for it in the short one week time given felt slightly nervous when he entered the recording studio that morning.

Given that his song was a ballad, he only needed to focus solely on the singing aspect so there was not much concern on other aspects. Still, it had been a long time since he recorded anything so the nervous feeling was something that he couldn’t help.

He sat quietly while waiting for other people to arrive. While he was drinking his water to relieve his suddenly dry throat, the room opened to reveal the people who will be responsible to conduct the recording of the song today.

A man came in first, purposely positioned in the front to guide the other man behind him.

The man behind was Seungyoun. Seungyoun appeared through the door bowing while sporting on simple casual clothes and glasses. In his hands, a file which looked similar to the file Wooseok was holding in his hand was seen. It was a file consisting everything about the song.

Wooseok had already expected that he would meet Seungyoun today since Seungyoun was the composer of the song and thus naturally making him the one responsible to monitor the whole process of the song recording. Although he had already prepared himself in advance to meet the other, Wooseok still couldn’t help himself from feeling awkward around the other.

The last time he heard from Seungyoun was on that day in the cafe. Since then, Seungyoun hadn’t been contacting him anymore. So this will be their first contact again after a whole week of no news from each other.

Seungyoun smiled in his usual way as Wooseok stood up and bowed slightly in greeting. While the other man went to check on the audio devices, Seungyoun took a seat in front of Wooseok and laid the file on the table between them.

“How have you been? Are you all prepared to record the song?”

Wooseok swallowed while meeting the other’s calm gaze.

“Yes.”

“Good. Did you have any problem with the song or any questions you want to ask?”

Somehow, Seungyoun seemed to be more professional in a work environment. Wooseok thought about the other’s question for a while before shaking his head.

“If everything’s fine, then we can start recording immediately once we’re all set up. I’ll just be monitoring from the outside.”

Somehow, it felt a little strange because the two of them had never been engaged in this kind of atmosphere before. With Seungyoun, Wooseok remembered things had always been casual between them so it felt a little nerve-wracking to see this side of Seungyoun who openly expressed to looking forward seeing what he can bring to the table.

Only now he was reminded of their situation where Seungyoun was a position higher than him and he had the responsibility to give Seungyoun a satisfying result in regards to the work that was assigned to him. Suddenly he felt a heavy burden of pressure and expectation weighing on his shoulders.

Picking up his bottle, he downed a gulp out of nervousness before standing up and heading into the recording booth. Entering the booth, he realized it really had been a while since he had been here so everything felt unfamiliar.

He took the headphone and wore them over his ears. Outside the glass window, Seungyoun was seen receiving explaination from the other man about the buttons on the equipment since the design seemed to be different from the one he usually used. Seungyoun nodded after he finished testing them out himself. He then turned to look back at Wooseok, speaking through the mic outside. Instantly a voice echoed in the booth, alerting Wooseok.

“We’ll start once you’re ready.”

Wooseok nodded to give a sign to the other. Seungyoun noted this and pressed a button to start the song. As the first note sounded, Wooseok held the headphone close to his ears and started focusing. When his part arrived, he opened his mouth and started singing.

A few seconds later, Seungyoun stopped him.

“Okay, we’ll try that one more time.”

In response to the other’s instruction, Wooseok stopped and prepared again from the beginning. When he went into the intro and started singing again, he was stopped another time.

“One more time.”

They ended up trying three more times at the same part before the song stopped completely and silence filled the booth. Behind the glass, Seungyoun was noticeably thinking about something. Wooseok unconsciously wet his lips which had been dry for a while. His heart was pounding even louder than before.

“Wooseok-ah, can you come out for a while?”

A softened voice which he was familiar with filtered into his hearing. Slowly, Wooseok hung the headphone over the mic and came out of the booth. He didn’t realize he had been nibbling on his lower lip the whole time until Seungyoun approached him and led him out of the studio while holding onto his wrist.

“We’ll be back in a few minutes.” Seungyoun informed the other man in the studio before closing the door behind them. Wooseok, who couldn’t comprehend what was happening, followed after the other in confusion.

“Did you have your breakfast yet?”

When Seungyoun pulled him out from the studio, Wooseok almost expected to be scolded. But hearing the voice which inquired him softly then, Wooseok calmed down a little and shook his head. When he realized the other couldn’t see him, Wooseok hurriedly spoke.

“N-No…Not yet.”

To be exact, he had not eaten anything since last night. Wooseok didn’t have the appetite to eat due to his mind only occupied with the thoughts of having to practice, all for the sake to show his best today. But somehow it felt as if things hadn’t been going the way he wanted.

“Wait here.”

Seungyoun finally released the hold he had on Wooseok’s wrist as he headed towards a vending machine at the end of the corridor. Wooseok sat on a chair nearby and watched Seungyoun as the other scanned the items in the vending machine for a while before finally deciding and pressing on a few buttons.

Soon, a few loud clunk sounded as items dropped into the space at the bottom of the vending machine. Seungyoun took them out one by one and gathered them in his arms before heading back in Wooseok’s direction.

He took a seat on the chair beside Wooseok before handing him a box of banana milk and a triangular kimchi kimbap.

“Let’s eat our breakfast first. Then we’ll resume with our recording.”

“...”

Wooseok looked down at the food and drink which he had received in his hands. Beside him, Seungyoun had the exact same and was currently peeling open the wrap of his own kimbap.

“I haven’t eaten breakfast too. I’m seriously starving.”

Seungyoun said while munching on his first bite of the cold kimbap.

It wasn’t a situation where Wooseok had imagined to happen at all. Eating vending machine food in the middle of a corridor with Seungyoun.

“Aren’t you eating?”

Seungyoun asked when he noticed Wooseok still hadn’t make a move to eat. Hesitating briefly, Wooseok only took the kimbap and started eating after he realized the hunger that hit him at the sight of food that was presented in front of his eyes. Eventhough it was cold, it tasted better than he expected. The first few small bites gradually changed into more hearty bites until eventually there was nothing left.

Seungyoun had long finished his by the time Wooseok was finished, and was currently seen busily drinking from his box of banana milk.

Following the other, Wooseok too distractedly sucked on his banana milk with a straw while saying nothing.

After a while, the silence was broken by Seungyoun. 

“Are you all relaxed now?”

The straw slipped out from Wooseok’s lips as he turned to blink at the other’s smiling face. 

“You don’t have to be nervous. Just treat it as if you’re singing to yourself.”

“...”

“Close your eyes, don’t mind anyone else, pretend there’s only you and let your voice flow with your emotions.”

The smile was soft and encouraging. Wooseok who had been silently questioning Seungyoun’s intention for doing this since earlier finally understood that the other had felt the nervousness in his voice during the recording session.

In fact, Seungyoun hadn’t only felt the nervousness in that voice alone. He also felt it in the way Wooseok kept missing the beat and entered either a beat earlier or later. Therefore he had to pause the recording for a while and bring Wooseok out to calm the other down.

Still, he was always confident when it came to Wooseok. He knew Wooseok can do better if the nervousness that obscured his real capabilities can be cleared away.

“You’ve always loved singing. You’ve always used to sing your whole heart freely without holding yourself back. Now nothing is stopping you.”

So sing as hard and as much as you want until you’re sick of it. The sincere eyes of Seungyoun seemed to convey to him.

Wooseok didn’t know why, but after Seungyoun said that to him the tenseness, pressure, worries and anxiety he had been feeling towards his work performance had suddenly dissipated into thin air. Like a tangled knot that was straightened out, Wooseok’s mind cleared up with Seungyoun’s words.

When they entered back into the recording studio later, Wooseok’s condition was visibly much better than before. They resumed their session with a much better atmosphere between them.

The moment Wooseok entered the booth, all other presence ceased to exist except for himself and all other sounds ceased to exist except for the song in his ears. The moment the first note filtered through his headphone, Wooseok loosened himself and followed the melodies of the song with an emotion and voice reflecting a gentle stream of water.

Just like that time.

He remembered himself in the bus, listening to the song with Seungyoun’s voice in his ear.

His heart went light together with his emotions.

Before he knew it, the booth changed into the scenery of him in the bus, singing along to the other’s soft voice while he watched the beautiful city lights that passed by him.

For a moment, he was confined to that world where there was only him and Seungyoun in his mind.

The whole time he was in that world, his heart was pounding nervously over a feeling that gave him butterflies in his stomach.

* * *

Seungyoun listened to everything without being able to produce a single word.

There was no more stopping anything this time.

With the lyrics that continued to flow smoothly without any mistake, the song reached till the very end.

Seungyoun doesn’t really believe in perfection. In fact, he himself found various imperfection in the way he sang the guide for this song. Eventhough the song was made based on his own feelings and emotions, but he still struggled to find the best way to express it.

But for the first time since he had listened to other people singing his songs, he finally thought it was possible for someone to express emotions in his song much better than he himself could.

And it was Kim Wooseok who broke his expectation.

Since then Seungyoun started to be bothered by a single thought that kept nagging the back of his mind the moment he heard Wooseok sang the first note.

The recording ended after that one single go-through on Seungyoun’s decision. Wooseok who didn’t expect it to end immediately without another try came out of the recording booth looking uncertain. Seungyoun smiled at him and complimented him for a job well done. When Wooseok asked him if it was really okay to end with just one try, Seungyoun nodded his head.

“It’s perfect the way it is.”

When it comes to singing, a good result doesn’t really depend on how many times you try it. It depends on if you can grasp the exact emotion and feel of the song in that one try. With the way how it came out, Seungyoun can confidently say that they didn’t need to have to go through the song a second time.

After concluding the session, they packed up their stuffs and exited the studio. Since his job was done here, Seungyoun was supposed to head back to his company. As the two of them walked down the hallway, they came upon Seungwoo who had just arrived.

“What? Is the recording over already?”

Seungwoo had initially wanted to come over to check on their progress, but not expecting it to end this fast, he had a dumbfounded look on his face as he glanced between the two alternatively.

“Yes, it just ended. And you are…?”

Seungyoun easily answered before moving to question the other’s identity.

Recomposing himself, Seungwoo immediately cleared his throat when he realized he needed to introduce himself. 

“I’m Wooseok’s manager, Han Seungwoo. Nice to meet you, Woodz-ssi.”

A hand was held out between them.

Seungyoun’s eyes flickered briefly in recognition before a smile followed, hand reaching out to grasp the other’s waiting one in a friendly shake.

“You can just call me Seungyoun.”

“Sure. And you can just call me Seungwoo hyung. Formalities are unnecessary since Wooseok’s friend is my friend too.”

Seungwoo smiled kindly after he let go of the other’s hand. When he noticed the bag Seungyoun was bringing with him, he commented.

“Ah, are you leaving already?”

“Yes. I have some work to do in my company.” Seungyoun, still smiling, explained calmly.

“Ah…” There was a brief look of understanding in Seungwoo’s face before he started again. “Sorry for asking so suddenly, by any chance are you free after work today?”

Seungyoun blinked at the question. Then he thought of his schedule for the day and answered.

“Yes, I think. Why?”

“Do you want to join me and Wooseok for dinner later? I’ll treat.”

Seungwoo asked in a light-hearted manner. Beside Seungyoun, Wooseok looked equally as surprised at the unexpected invitation.

After the initial surprise, Seungyoun’s behaviour next seemed more than welcoming towards the invitation.

“Sure. I’ll be done by 6pm the latest.”

“Great. You’re fine with it, right Wooseok-ah?”

Seungwoo turned to Wooseok and asked pleasantly. Seungwoo had actually mentioned beforehand to Wooseok of his plan to eat together tonight, but Wooseok hadn’t expect that Seungyoun would join them too. Still, he wasn’t particularly opposed to the idea of the other joining so he just shrugged.

Subsequently, the plan was mutually made and Seungyoun and Seungwoo exchanged their numbers.

“I’ll text you the location and time again later.”

Seungwoo informed. After nodding, Seungyoun left waving a short goodbye to both of them.

When it was only Seungwoo and Wooseok left in the hallway, Seungwoo nudged Wooseok at the side.

“So how did the recording go with Seungyoun?”

“...I’m not sure. But I think it went well.”

At least he thought it went well remembering the proud expression on Seungyoun’s face. It unconsciously made Wooseok felt warm all over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can see the ending now. ill work hard to finish the story until then.


	8. Chapter 8

That night right after their work was done, Wooseok followed Seungwoo in his car to the promised location. Just before they exited the company building, Seungwoo had texted Seungyoun the time and address of the place where they were going to have their dinner.

“Tonight it’ll be a grilled pork belly feast for the three of us~”

Seungwoo happily announced while steering the wheel, appearing to be in a celebrative mood. Wooseok glanced at the older man, wondering to himself why Seungwoo would be so excited when the only thing he can look forward to was the fact that the whole dinner fee for the night will be on him. Besides the restaurant they were going to was quite an expensive one, different from the small eatery at the side of the street where he and Seungwoo would go on normal days.

“Are you sure, hyung?”

Wooseok asked when they reached the front of the established restaurant. Just looking at the exterior, he can tell how expensive it would be for a person. And to think Seungwoo would treat both of them.

When Seungwoo realized Wooseok was asking about his decision to eat at such an expensive place, Seungwoo quickly laughed and waved it off.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, we ought to have a good meal in a nice restaurant once in a while. Besides, we’re having dinner with Seungyoun. We need to make a good impression on him.”

What good impression? So suspicious… it seemed like you have some agenda in your mind- Wooseok’s frown didn’t went unnoticed by Seungwoo as he laughed another time.

“Just joking. I just thought since Seungyoun helped you a lot, I ought to treat him to a nice meal.”

Wooseok’s frown became deeper at that. “If that’s the case then I should be the one to treat, not-”

Seungwoo silenced him promptly. “No, I’m your hyung as well as your manager and I feel responsible too. Let hyung take care of this one, just to ease my own heart.” A gentle smile lifted the corner of Seungwoo’s lips as he regarded the conflicted Wooseok.

Seungwoo continued to insist despite Wooseok’s protest. In the end when Seungyoun arrived, Wooseok was cut off as Seungwoo moved away to greet Seungyoun.

Seungyoun got out of his car and greeted both of them with a smile while sweeping back his hair habitually.

Then the three of them headed into the restaurant together.

Upon their entrance, a waitress came to welcome them. Seungwoo showed her their reservation and soon they were being led by the waitress into a private space, away from the open area of the restaurant.

“Sit down, sit down.” Seungwoo who was the first to take a seat gestured the two who were still standing to take theirs.

“This place has a nice ambience.”

Seungyoun commented idly, still looking around the space where soft-coloured interior design gave a relaxing feeling.

“Right? I got this place recommended to me by a friend. It gives a good environment to relax and talk comfortably.”

As soon as Seungwoo finished saying that, the waitress came to take their orders. Seungwoo ordered a number of pork belly servings enough for three people and drinks. After the waitress left, they began to engage in small talks.

Just generally about their job, topics that they can relate to. From there Seungwoo knew more about Seungyoun and what he was currently working on. Seungyoun told them that he was currently in the midst of composing a song with a friend of his and they were still having difficulty choosing a singer they would think fit with the mood of the song, though it was decided already that it would suit a female.

While on the subject, Seungwoo thought about the song that Seungyoun had given to Wooseok.

“So how did you come to decide to give the song to Wooseok?”

From what he had listened to so far, it seemed that making the decision to select a singer who would fit the song was as important as the whole process of making the song itself. Therefore, Seungwoo imagined it must’ve gone through a long series of consideration before Seungyoun reached the decision that Wooseok would be the one fit for the song.

Seungyoun looked a little caught offguard at first, though later it turned out it didn’t bother him as much as the answer came out as if he had already known what to say about it.

“For that song… it’s a little different. The moment the song was made, Wooseok just naturally appeared in my mind.”

At the unexpected answer, an amazed sound came from Seungwoo. So you’re saying the decision was made instantly? Seungyoun nodded. Beside him where Wooseok sat, the latter’s expression had started to waver.

“And after finished recording the song today, I guess the decision I made was really right afterall. The song was really made for him.”

The edge of Seungyoun’s lips lifted into a knowing smile. Wooseok couldn’t look at the other’s face and instead remained with his eyes stuck at a random spot on the table in front of him.

“That means the recording came out great, right? Good job, our Wooseokie~” Seungwoo who had no idea what was transpiring within Wooseok patted the other on the head like complimenting a child.

“...But to be honest I was a little surprised.” Seungyoun continued while laughing small.

“What do you mean?”

“I sang the guide, but he sang it in a completely different way than mine. I listened to it and I realized he had his own special colour too. He coloured the whole song in his own colour, and it came out much better than how I sang it.”

The last part was spoken with an earnest smile on Seungyoun’s face. It was the honest opinion of Seungyoun as the composer of the song himself. As he remembered how it went earlier, it felt as if he wasn’t listening to his song, but listening to a song that had been created anew in Wooseok’s own colour. He didn’t expect it to be so enlightening that after he returned to his company later, he couldn’t resist from listening to the recorded song that was saved in his drive a few more times.

In a simple way to say it, Wooseok had successfully turned the song completely into his own. That in itself told Seungyoun enough of the other’s potential as a singer.

He didn’t make a mistake. Not in the selection of the singer nor in his faith believing that Wooseok had something special in him. He knew this when he first saw the other on his debut stage, shining brightly in his own colour.

And he wanted to save that brilliance from fading away. And for that, he had to give the right push to the other from the right position.

Seungyoun’s gaze met Wooseok’s then and stayed on the other for a long time.

Wooseok was the first to tear his eyes away when the waitress opened the door and came with their order in her hands.

With their meat busily cooking on the grilling plate, the conversation shifted to another topic and began to pick in pace again. Seungwoo and Seungyoun was the only one doing most of the talking while Wooseok busied himself flipping the meat over. When the meat was cooked enough to be served, the other two randomly commented on the taste while Wooseok who didn’t have much response of his own picked on his meat and put it in his mouth quietly.

In the middle of their dinner, Seungwoo received a message and suddenly groaned out loud. When asked what happened, he rubbed his temples as if trying to ward off a forming headache.

“It’s my older sister…”

Before he can finish his sentence, a call instantly came. As if knowing who it was already, Seungwoo called out his sister’s name with a troubled expression.

“Noona, are you drunk again? Where are you at right now?”

After a while listening to the other’s incoherent response on the other side, Seungwoo sighed heavily and ended the call.

“...Uh…”

“Go, hyung. It’s okay.” Wooseok, who seemed to be used to this situation, said without even having to hear the other’s explanation. On the other hand, Seungyoun was just watching the whole thing with amusement.

“Yeah, I think she’s laying somewhere on the street again… I’m really sorry, I have to go and fetch her before anything happens to her. I’ll pay the bills so you two just take your time eating.” As Seungwoo picked up his jacket from the chair, he apologized again before leaving in a hurry. Seungyoun who stood up and said a ‘thank you hyung and be careful on your way out’ waited for the other to disappear through the door before seating himself down again.

“Does this happen often?” The hint of amusement was still clear in Seungyoun’s voice.

Wooseok sighed before nodding. Seungwoo’s sister had this bad habit of laying on the street when she’s drunk, so Seungwoo always had to run after her to make sure nothing dangerous happened to her. And this always happened after she broke up with her boyfriend. I guess this time it’s the same case too… As Wooseok continued to talk about all the things he had heard from Seungwoo about his sister, Seungyoun laughed.

“You know, you didn’t talk much earlier. I thought you’re mad or something.”

When Wooseok finally realized that Seungyoun had just been watching him the whole time he was talking, his active chatter was immediately put to a halt.

“...No, I’m not mad.”

“Did what I said earlier bothered you?”

As expected, Seungyoun was fast at picking up things. Guess that the whole time he was busily talking with Seungwoo earlier, Wooseok’s silence didn’t go unnoticed by him either.

“No.”

Wooseok replied in a small voice, then proceeded to keep his hands and mouth busy as he finished the remaining meat in his plate. Due to Seungwoo’s sudden departure, now it was only up to the two of them to finish the remaining servings. It seemed that it would still take a while for the two of them to finish them all.

When Seungyoun took the hint that Wooseok didn’t want to talk further, he also kept quiet and started finishing his own portion.

Contary to what the other thought though, Wooseok was actually busy thinking about something else. Actually, he had been busy thinking about how to say this to Seungyoun the whole time they were eating earlier.

In the middle of the sizzling sound of meat, a voice rose after hesitating for a long time.

“Thank you.”

In the end, all those long period of thinking resulted into voicing that two simple word that seemed to convey everything he wanted to say.

Wooseok briefly glanced at Seungyoun who had suddenly stopped eating before he diverted his attention back down again to pick up his food and stuff it in his mouth. It became awkward because of the way Seungyoun was staring at him.

“What for?”

Wooseok swallowed the meat he had chewed with some difficulty before mustering himself again.

“For everything.”

In the end when he thought about it, he realized there was really a lot of thing he had to thank Seungyoun for. After a whole week of reflecting on himself, he managed to throw away his stubborn pride and came to a realization that if there was anything he should say to Seungyoun, it was to thank Seungyoun for all the things he had done for him. The feeling became even stronger when he remembered how Seungyoun had tried to calm him down back when he noticed his nervousness during recording.

Since then, he had been having butterflies fluttering in his stomach whenever he looked at the other. Earlier too, when the other complimented him. He didn’t became quiet after that because he was mad. Contrary to that, he became quiet because… because he suddenly felt conscious with Seungyoun.

Even now, he couldn’t look at Seungyoun properly in the eyes due to feeling conscious in his presence. And he was also very acutely aware of this warm feeling that was spreading rapidly in his chest as the atmosphere between them started to deepen. For the whole day, he had been trying to put a name to this feeling he kept feeling around Seungyoun and when he realized what it could be, he had spent a long time just quietly sitting and sinking everything.

Seungyoun must’ve not expected this coming from Wooseok, so his reaction then was more or less as awkward as Wooseok. Though that didn’t seem to last long as he recovered fast and soon a bright smile was seen plastered to his face.

“Sure. Don’t mind it.”

Seungyoun resumed to eat his food coolly, but when Wooseok looked at him he saw that the tip of the other’s ears had became visibly reddened and for some reason noticing that made him became red himself.

So they spent the rest of the time eating after that with an ambiguously mixed awkwardness and excited feeling hanging in the air. There wasn’t much word even after they had finished and left the restaurant.

Outside, they stood again in silence, not knowing what to do for a good few minutes. Wooseok then buried his hands deep into his padding pocket and said his parting first.

“So…I’ll see you again later.”

“Wait-”

As he was about to turn away, Seungyoun suddenly grabbed his arm.

“...Come with me, I’ll give you a ride home.”

“...”

Wooseok looked at the hand on his arm and found himself unable to form any words. After that, he can only comply wordlessly as he followed the other to his car.

When they were inside, Wooseok felt the awkward silence stretched between them again and thought it was worse this time as there was nothing to distract himself but to look outside the window since the radio wasn’t turned on either. Only at times, there was the occasional sound of signal heard as they turned a junction.

Then they stopped in front of a traffic light that had went red and Seungyoun finally opened his mouth.

“Wooseok-ah.”

At the sudden voice, Wooseok turned his attention to Seungyoun. The other’s eyes were fixed on him in a somewhat unreadable look. 

“Who were you thinking of when you sang the song?”

Without any pretense nor the need to hold himself back anymore, Seungyoun voiced out the one single thought that had been on his mind ever since he listened to Wooseok singing.

Whenever he remembered about it, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that Wooseok was as if singing with the thought of someone in his mind then, with the image of someone pictured behind his closed eyelids. Watching the sight without being able to tear his eyes away even for a second, he couldn’t help but to be bothered since then.

At that moment, the light reflected green and Seungyoun had to force himself to turn his head back to the front. But as soon as the car started moving again, a small voice broke through.

“You.”

The voice that was barely above a whisper was just audible enough to be heard within the small space of the car. Every movement stilled while the car continued to cruise along a straight empty road unbothered.

“I thought about you.”

Wooseok said again, this time with a clearer voice.

“...”

“I thought about you who were thinking of me as you sang the song.”

“...”

“...Am I right? Did you make the song while thinking of me? Did you sing it while thinking of me?”

But then even if I didn’t hear the answer, I thought everything had been obvious from the start. Your feelings which kept revealing itself in front of me unconsciously without you meaning to show it, eventhough I tried to pretend to not know it, it eventually became hard to look away from.

Wooseok thought about this as he watched the lights fleeted across the other’s face in a continuous motion.

Cho Seungyoun, everything you did until now, was because you love me, am I right?

Wooseok seemed to have realized this conclusion in the end after putting the pieces slowly in his head. The reason why Seungyoun had held him that night, the reason why Seungyoun came out with such a song, the reason for all the longing and desperation he felt from the other all these while, the reason why Seungyoun had asked him to let him help even if he was going to be hated-

When he put it all together, he realized the answer suddenly became clear if he simply let himself accept it.

Cho Seungyoun loves him.

And for some reason, when he saw Seungyoun who was hesitating then with a troubled look on his face, it made Wooseok’s heart burst with a sudden inexplicable endearment. His heart reached out first before his mind could.

The moment the car stopped in front of another traffic light, he grabbed Seungyoun’s face and pressed their lips together.

This time, it is with a mind and a heart that is as clear as day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story will end at chapter 12. so far thank you for your attention towards this story of mine despite lacking a lot. it's one of the reason why i'm able to find the ending for it. i hope you will continue showing love to it until the end :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had fun writing this chapter, hope you'll enjoy it ^^

The car pulled up in front of Wooseok’s house quietly. Despite that, none of the occupants in the car made any move, merely staying still in their seat.

Seungyoun looked as if he still couldn’t comprehend the whole thing as he unconsciously chewed on his lower lip trying to make sense if what just happened was merely an imagination.

Come to think of it, Wooseok isn’t drunk this time. So that action was done from a perfectly sober state... As the tip of his tongue traced the lingering taste of the other on his lips, he finally realized that this must’ve been reality afterall. With the realization coming down on him, he suddenly was at a loss on what to do.

While the other was visibly thinking hard in his mind, Wooseok observed him quietly from the side. He watched how the expression kept changing on the other’s face and couldn’t help thinking it was funny.

“Seungyoun-ah.”

Wooseok called out to the other. That successfully brought the other back to him.

“Y-Yeah?”

When Seungyoun was faced with the smile on Wooseok’s face, his breath hitched in his throat. Wooseok doesn’t smile often, but when he does his whole features softened in a breathtakingly beautiful way. Seungyoun didn’t realize he had been staring until he felt Wooseok coming closer towards him.

“It’s real.”

As if he understood what was going through Seungyoun’s mind then, Wooseok cupped his cheeks gently in his hands. The touch that was radiating warmth then conveyed Wooseok’s intention to convince the other.

“Everything is real.”

Seungyoun didn’t realize when the other had came this close to him, but at the moment all he can see was the huge glimmering eyes that was looking right into his eyes. How close they were to each other that he can feel the other’s breath on his face.

Before he knew it, he felt the other’s lips softly pressing against his again. Contrary from the earlier’s rushed kiss, this time it was gentler and seemingly taking its time as lips pulled onto his in a slow sweet pace. Seungyoun who remained frozen to his seat felt Wooseok tilting his head as the latter pushed his lips harder against his. Following the pressure, his head was also gradually pushed back until the back of his head touched against the headrest.

Now with no green light to distract them, the kiss continued on for a longer time.

At some point, he could feel the other’s tongue coaxing his mouth to open and Seungyoun let the other in without much resistance. Without knowing it himself, he had also started tilting his head and pushing back against the other, hand lifting up to cradle the back of the other’s head.

The wet sound of kissing and their breathing filled the quiet car while the kiss was maintained in a mild, unhurried pace. The long eyelashes of Wooseok tickled Seungyoun’s upper cheeks and Wooseok’s slick tongue was tangling with his. As Seungyoun took his time to register all these sensation in his mind, he gradually understood what was happening.

Wooseok was the first to part away, his tongue sticking out slightly to show a string of saliva connecting between them. Seungyoun was left feeling dazed as the other moved back to his seat calmly.

“...”

It took Seungyoun a while to snap himself out from his daze. His heart was still beating loudly in his chest.

“Wooseok-ah.”

“...”

Seungyoun was looking ahead, still trying to calm his rapidly beating heart.

“Does this mean you like me too?”

“...”

From the corner of his eyes, he noticed the other nodding his head slowly.

But later he had a realization that he didn’t really need to ask that afterall because that one kiss had been enough confirmation for everything. Leaning his forehead against the wheel, he tried to hide his face that was warming up fast.

“This is crazy…”

His insides were somersaulting from a swarm of emotions. He couldn’t express how he felt at the moment. It was as if the dam to his emotions had been broken and suddenly there was too much to take at once.

They stayed in silence for another hour in the car till the warmed air gradually cooled between them.

* * *

For the whole week, Wooseok was busy preparing for his comeback.

Tomorrow will be the release of the official music video and Wooseok was a little nervous waiting for the time to come. 

Following the release of the MV, he will also have to start performing again on live stage in music shows therefore aside from all other matters, he had also been occupied practicing for his live performance.

Amidst all of that, there was also Seungyoun who had slipped in between his busy schedules.

With the discovery of his newfound feeling towards the other, they started to contact each other again. Messages, or calls at time when they had the time to. These days, there seemed to be a lot of affection between them though Wooseok couldn’t help but to feel that it seemed one-sided due to Seungyoun constantly being the one to initiate it first. It seemed that Seungyoun was the type of person who had a lot of affection within him so whenever he talked to Wooseok, it was always in a manner that was full of affection that Wooseok found himself embarrassed at times as he thought on how to react to it.

Despite his wild look, Seungyoun was unexpectedly a real romantic at heart.

Wooseok witnessed it in the way the other never failed to message a good morning when he woke up and a good night just before he slept. Sometimes when Wooseok had his break time, Seungyoun would call him saying he missed his voice. Since they were working in different companies and had a hard time seeing each other due to their busy schedules, so Wooseok couldn’t say much towards the call that came often.

Even then, Wooseok didn’t hate all the attention coming from the other. In fact, he was trying his best to show his own feelings towards the other too. However because the other was just naturally used to being the one to give affection, Wooseok somehow got into the role of only receiving affection from the other without really having much chance to give back. Still, he always tried to find a chance to let Seungyoun knew of his feelings whenever he can.

That night, he ended the practice a little earlier and boarded a bus to Seungyoun’s company. When Wooseok messaged him earlier, Seungyoun said he was still in the company and maybe will stay for another two or three hours more before he head back home.

Until now, it had been maybe almost a week since they hadn’t seen each other’s face. Because Wooseok had been so busy preparing for his comeback, so their contact to each other had been limited for most of the time. Seungyoun himself was hesitant to ask for some time to meet from Wooseok knowing the latter was busy, so Wooseok could feel Seungyoun had been holding himself back from asking that the whole week.

For the past few days, Wooseok had had his hands full with the shooting of the MV, photoshoot for the song concept and practices so everyday he found himself always coming back home late. But yesterday upon finally wrapping up everything, Wooseok finally felt he was able to breath and today he was left with one whole free day to do his own stuffs before he became busy again.

So he didn’t waste his chance to use that time to go and see Seungyoun. The trip to Seungyoun’s company which was located in the heart of the city was an hour bus ride away. While he was in the bus, he looked at the other’s last message and idly wondered how surprised Seungyoun would be seeing him at his company later.

Wooseok had only ever seen Seungyoun’s company, but never actually visited it so when he arrived there he had to look at the guide to know where Seungyoun was.

These days, Seungyoun had been saying that he was busy with composing. So he must be in the studio at the fourth floor. Getting onto an elevator, he pressed the fourth button and waited as the elevator moved up. When the elevator door slid open, he saw a big glass door before the dimly yellow-lighted studio.

Inside, he saw Seungyoun with a guy and a girl at both his side. Wooseok, who only expected Seungyoun would be alone, only belatedly realize of the possibility of other people to be present with him too. Right, didn’t he say that he was working with another composer friend of his too currently? His mind had been so occupied with his own comeback matters that he forgot about this.

He thought of just going back down and waiting at the lounge until Seungyoun finished because it didn’t seem appropriate to bother them.

While Wooseok was thinking about this, somehow Seungyoun’s eyes caught a figure standing outside. At first, he thought he was just imagining it but when he looked a little longer, only then he recognized that it was Wooseok. With his friend’s voice tuned out, he completely shifted his attention from the conversation to Wooseok who was standing outside.

“Sorry, excuse me for a bit.”

Without waiting for his friend to finish his sentences, he left mid-conversation and stepped out of the studio.

As the glass door was pushed open revealing Seungyoun, Wooseok couldn’t hide his surprise. On Seungyoun’s side, there was also an equal surprise but for a completely different matter.

“What are you doing here?”

Seungyoun asked in confusion. He took out his phone from his pocket and checked if he had any missed calls or messages from Wooseok, but when he saw none he became even more puzzled.

“Um…” Wooseok started unintelligibly. He suddenly felt guilty for disrupting. “I just thought of seeing you just before you go home since I had the time, but…” He looked behind Seungyoun to see the two people inside now watching them in a somewhat curious expression.

Seungyoun who listened to Wooseok then started being unable to fight off the smile that was trying to make its way on his lips.

“You should’ve told me first, idiot. If I knew, I would’ve ended things early.”

“No, no. Please continue with your work. I’ll just wait until you’re done.”

“...Then, can you wait for a while? I’ll just finish a few more things then I’ll come and see you at the lounge.”

Wooseok nodded. Seungyoun flashed a grateful smile before rushing back in the studio where his two friends were still waiting for him. Wooseok observed them for a while while waiting for the elevator.

The guy was a new face, but Wooseok thought the girl looked familiar somewhat even from a distance. He couldn’t put a name to the face even after thinking about it the whole time going down. When he reached the lounge, he sat on a sofa that was placed there and waited for Seungyoun to finish.

It didn’t even take that long. Seungyoun was already seen coming out from the elevator fifteen minutes later.

“Sorry for the wait.”

Seungyoun said looking apologetic. Wooseok shook his head, thinking if there was anyone who was apologetic it should be him for coming to meet the other unannounced.

“Sorry I came without telling you. I just want to surprise you.”

Wooseok fiddled with the hem of his sleeves. Seungyoun laughed before a warm smile etched itself on his face.

“I know.”

Because he knew, Seungyoun had to apologize and asked his friends if they could continue the remaining of their discussion tomorrow. Since the nature of their discussion wasn’t so urgent, so Seungyoun could bring himself to ask for it.

Moreover, he had been holding himself back ever since he saw Wooseok. And when he realized the other came all the way here just because he wanted to surprise him, Seungyoun couldn’t help but to feel as if he was on top of the world.

He looked at his watch and noted the time. It was already 7pm.

“You haven’t eaten dinner right? What do you want to eat?”

Seungyoun asked while they walked to his car. Wooseok’s thinking face then looked really cute so Seungyoun enjoyed his time watching it until the other spoke again.

“I don’t really know…Anything would be fine.”

“Then should we go to that chicken feet restaurant at Gangnam?”

Seungyoun remembered the restaurant which he had been planning to visit with Wooseok before. It was a little far from here, but he hardly minded knowing it would be their first time eating out together after a while.

Wooseok nodded looking a little more excited than before. It was seriously cute.

Maybe it was because Seungyoun hadn’t seen the other for a while, but every expression, movement and gesture seemed so adorable in his eyes. He couldn’t help himself.

After fastening his seat belt, Wooseok realized the car still hadn’t move yet. He felt his hand being grabbed before the other’s fingers intertwined with his. When he lifted his gaze from the hand to the other’s face, he noticed Seungyoun looking at him with a gaze that seemed heated.

“Just a little while…” Seungyoun murmured, tightening his fingers around Wooseok’s. “I’ve been waiting to see you for so long.”

It had just been a week, but Seungyoun sounded as if he hadn’t seen him for years. Despite having that thought in his head, Wooseok couldn’t say anything listening to the quiet whisper that was filled with so much love.

So they spent a few minutes in silence with their fingers interlocked without a gap in between. Wooseok couldn’t help feeling his body heating up together with Seungyoun’s hand which gradually grew hotter in his own.

* * *

After eating at the chicken feet restaurant, they ended up going back to Seungyoun’s house. Wooseok had never been to Seungyoun’s house before so he felt slightly nervous when he entered the other’s house which was much bigger than his.

Somehow, while eating chicken feet, Seungyoun came up with the idea of watching movies in his house. Wooseok seemed to prefer it too rather than going to the cinema due to the crowd. Along the way, they also bought pizza as take-out to eat while watching the movie.

At the moment Seungyoun was setting up his DVD player for the movie. While Wooseok browsed through the CDs in the shelf, he realized the amount of rom-com movies that Seungyoun had and ended up snickering. He figured he should just start expecting something like this from Seungyoun from now on.

It was funny, but also cute in a way.

Because there really was nothing else to watch other than rom-com, in the end they had to settle watching just that.

Wooseok was just focusing watching Seungyoun rather than watching the movie because it was just amusing seeing how the other was so absorbed in it. So the Woodz who is famously known to be multi-talented and capable in the entertainment world had a quite domestic side to him.

Wooseok watched as the other teared up when the female character started running after realizing that the man she just realized she had feeling for was going to leave her. Cue a sad background music and the tears started falling down the other’s cheek.

Until now, Wooseok still had a hard time believing this tough-looking guy would have the heart akin to a young girl. Sighing, Wooseok put down the slice of pizza he was eating and pulled out a few wad of tissues to wipe the tears on the other’s pitiful-looking face.

“Huuu… why are you not crying, Wooseok-ah? Isn’t this too sad?” Seungyoun continued to hold back his tears but to no avail as more just fell down when the female character in the movie finally found the guy and confessed her love to him while crying.

It’s because I was busy watching you, idiot. Wooseok thought as he put the rest of the tissues in the other’s hands. The other sniffed and wiped all the waterworks that was flowing freely on his face until the movie finally reached its end.

Only after the feeling had dimmed that Seungyoun finally felt the embarrassment hit him when he saw the crumpled tissues that had been stained with his tears. Wooseok on the contrary-

“Uh… You’re rather strong.” For being able to handle the movie without crying, Seungyoun commented sheepishly as he watched Wooseok eating his pizza with a cool dry face, as if he wasn’t the slightest bit affected by the movie. But they even said this was the number one saddest movie of all time…

No, it’s just because you’re too soft. In the end, it was another cliched romantic movie with a predictable ending. Besides, Wooseok had seen the movie before so that served to dampen the impact further. Still, Wooseok couldn’t deny the fact that he had enjoyed his time watching Seungyoun for the whole duration of the movie.

“Who would’ve thought you’re such a crybaby?” Wooseok finally let off a tender smile at the sight of the other, affectionately wiping the still wet cheeks with the back of his hand. The body of the other which was much bigger seemed unfitting to the face that looked like a baby currently.

To be honest, it was endearing. The more Wooseok knew Seungyoun, the more he started to feel that everything about him was endearing. At first, he was a little worried since their relationship had begun with a lot of conflict but now when everything was cleared up and settled a bit, he realized it was as if they were starting anew putting all the bad things aside.

This time, when he purely focused on everything as just an act of love, he realized just how sweet Seungyoun was.

The sweet Seungyoun who loves him so much, willing to go so far and do so much for him. Just when did his love start and how deep does his love extend?

Once the other’s face was dry, Wooseok brought it close to kiss him softly on the lips. Seungyoun’s lips automatically parted open to allow the other’s tongue to slip into his. The beginning of the kiss hinted of lovely saltiness.

Eventually the kiss turned into more as hands started wandering, tugging on each other’s clothes. Seungyoun picked him up and they headed for Seungyoun’s room without detaching from each other even for a second. Reaching the room, Wooseok ended up being laid on the bed with Seungyoun on top of him. They continued to pull and nibble onto each other’s lips, sharing a few quiet laughter in between while hands pulled off one piece of clothing after another.

When everything was off and bared skin came into contact, a rushing heat was ignited and spread through every inch of their bodies like wildfire. Seungyoun was just as passionate as how Wooseok had remembered him to be, just as gentle and loving as that night, the only difference this time was that Wooseok was reciprocating everything as well.

On the sheets, their fingers which interlocked together without any gap continued to hold onto each other tightly as if never wanting to let go.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the new names i introduced in this chapter are just for the sake of easy referring and some minor mentioning in the later chapters. just to tell this in advance so that they won't be taken too seriously ^^

The bright morning sunlight filtered into the room, accompanying it a gentle wind swayed the opened curtains and caressed Wooseok’s cheeks fleetingly. Wooseok let himself be lulled in the wind’s soft embrace for a while before his eyelids gradually lifted open.

A white ceiling, soft baby blue sheets, fluttering white curtains and a bright blue sky greeting from outside the opened window.

He closed his eyes again, momentarily calmed by the sight before his hand which went to reach beside him felt an emptiness. Blinking open his eyes again, he pulled himself up quietly when he realized Seungyoun wasn’t beside him.

Though that worry was immediately assured when he saw the other’s wide bare back sitting on a chair across from him, seemingly bent as the other busily moved his hands. The scribbling sound of pencil against paper was heard occasionally if one concentrated. Wooseok felt his smile loosening at the warm sight of the other being bathed in the soft sunlight.

Quietly getting up, he picked up a shirt on the bed and wore it before climbing out from the bed. The shirt that was worn randomly seemed to be Seungyoun’s as the hem reached till his mid-thigh, barely covering his underwear. Padding on the floorboard in soft steps, he approached the other like a cat.

Seungyoun seemed to be busily writing something.

Wooseok wound his arms around the other’s shoulder slowly. The touch almost startled Seungyoun out from the chair but Wooseok held him still with the arms wrapped around him. Wooseok rested one side of his cheek on the other’s shoulder while he peered at what Seungyoun was doing.

“What are you doing?”

“Writing lyrics.”

“This early in the morning?”

Seungyoun had stopped though since he realized Wooseok was awake. He turned his head and lay a kiss on the other’s cheek.

“I write whenever inspiration hits me. It can be anytime.”

Wooseok’s hair was slightly messy from waking up. Reaching a hand up, Seungyoun ran through the soft brown strands to smoothen out the tangles.

“Are you going to the company today?”

“Yes. A little later.”

Wooseok sounded lazy as he leaned into the warmth of Seungyoun’s hand which had slid to his cheek. Everything felt so right and comfortable that Wooseok didn’t want to let go just yet.

As Seungyoun watched Wooseok shifting to sit on his lap, he noticed the slight wince that slipped onto the other’s expression.

“Does it hurt?”

Wooseok only smiled, quickly shaking his head.

“Only a little. Don’t worry about it.” Wooseok then proceeded to wrap his arms again around Seungyoun’s neck, this time leaning against the other fully to savour in the calming warmth of the other. It was as if he couldn’t be apart from the other. Seungyoun was sweeping his hand over his back gently and it was making Wooseok feeling sleepy again. He closed his eyes while burying his face into Seungyoun’s nape.

Seungyoun leaned against his chair while fully embracing the other.

The sunlight was warm, the wind was gentle and the feel of Wooseok in his arms was pleasant.

Inspiration streamed gently in an unending calm flow. Regardless the hands that itched to write didn’t want to let go of the body in its hold yet. Seungyoun closed his eyes to the thought of an already blissful starting to his day.

* * *

Both of them only left the house when it was almost noon. It was a little later than the intended time thanks to the unexpected make out that they had in the bathroom, taking almost an hour extra from the usual bathing time.

Even after doing it for the whole night, it didn’t seem like both of them can keep their hands off each other whenever they were alone.

At the moment, while they were having their breakfast outside, Seungyoun had the strongest urge to kiss Wooseok as he watched the latter chewing distractedly while looking at his phone. The pretty red lips kept moving in a cute way causing Seungyoun to be unable to look at anything else. Unfortunately, there were people around them so he couldn’t do as he wanted simply.

Seungyoun held himself back by distracting himself with his own phone. As the screen of his phone lighted up, a reminder popped itself up on the top. When he pressed the reminder, he finally remembered.

“That’s right, your MV is coming out today.”

Wooseok looked up and nodded, the smile on his face had became slightly distorted.

“What should I do? I’m feeling a little nervous.”

Actually, he had been nervous since yesterday. But thankfully the whole night yesterday he had Seungyoun to distract him so the thought temporarily left his mind. But now being reminded of it again, he felt himself getting nervous again.

Mostly on the reception of people towards it. He just didn’t want to disappoint again. And most importantly, he didn’t want to put Seungyoun’s effort to waste. Therefore the worry was quite significant.

“Wooseok-ah, its okay. It’s going to come out well. Believe in me.”

Seungyoun rested his hand on top of the other in reassurance. But the other didn’t seem convinced so Seungyoun tried to distract the other by bringing another topic to talk.

“Wooseok-ah, do you usually post on Insta?” Seungyoun tapped onto the Insta app and was immediately directed to his feed. When he went to search for Wooseok’s Insta which he had followed last month, he scrolled through the contents in the other’s page.

Blinking at the sudden mention of the social media platform which he seldom used, Wooseok shook his head. “Not really. Just once in a while. Why?”

Seungyoun looked at the contents of the other that mainly consisted of his own selfies and smiled. There wasn’t many contents.

“Social media like Insta is good to promote yourself to the public. Take it as a way of advertising besides its purpose of connecting with friends and fans.” Seungyoun who was active almost everyday on social media had learned the various benefits from it. Besides that, from his Insta alone, he had also came to know a lot of friends with the same passion and communicated with them which led to a lot of offer to collab.

“Shall we take a picture together?”

Seungyoun grinned, already moving to Wooseok’s side. Wooseok didn’t seem to mind as he let Seungyoun sat beside him. Once both faces were in the screen, they posed in their own style. Seungyoun pressed the capture button and the image was saved. Seungyoun smiled wide looking at their first picture together.

While Seungyoun busied himself on his Insta, Wooseok was replying to a new message that just came in. While drinking his coffee, unknown to him Seungyoun was capturing everything into his phone. When he looked up to say something to Seungyoun, there was an idiotic smile on the other’s face but Wooseok chose to not comment because there was something more urgent at the moment.

“Seungyoun-ah, I need to go the company now. They’re looking for me.”

“Really? Okay, then I’ll drive you there.”

Both of them got into the car and headed for Wooseok’s company. After reaching to their destination, Wooseok said his goodbye to Seungyoun and was about to open the door until Seungyoun pulled him back to peck him lightly on the lips, taking advantage at the sight of the empty parking lot. Wooseok’s cheeks tinted a slight red due to the unexpected action and he only left after promising that he will message the other if there’s anything.

As he entered the building and headed for the practice room, he received a notification on his phone. When he unlocked his phone, he saw that it was a notification from Seungyoun’s Insta. Ever since they started to be in a relationship, Wooseok had set his Insta to notify him whenever there was a new post or activity on the other’s Insta. It was also one of his way of keeping up with Seungyoun while he was busy.

When he clicked the notification, he was then directed to a post of the picture of the two of them which was taken earlier. His name was tagged on the picture. The caption below wrote, _‘Please support Kim Wooseok who will come out with a new MV this afternoon~’._

There also seemed to be a new story posted and when Wooseok clicked on it, a picture of him drinking his coffee while messaging on his phone appeared. At the side, the caption read _‘Isn’t he cute? Please give him lots of love in the future~’._ After seeing all these, Wooseok couldn’t fight off the blush that was rising on his face.

Although he was thankful knowing Seungyoun's reason for doing so, but he kept wondering if it was too obvious with the other posting it in that way…

Despite that, when he read the comments he realized it seemed more positive than he expected.

_-Oppa, who is that guy? Oppa seems close to him~_

_-His name is Kim Wooseok? He’s really good-looking, but why haven’t I heard about him before? I’m going to search for him now ><_

_-Wow, its hard to say if he’s cute or pretty or handsome… maybe all?_

_-He’s going to come out with an MV? I’ll definitely watch it since oppa personally asks for it <3_

_-You two look good together kkkk_

_-If oppa recommends him, I will definitely support him as well!!!_

The list of comments went on and on. Due to his Insta having almost a million followers, the comments easily reached ten thousand in just a few minutes. Before he knew it, his name had suddenly raised in the search ranking as an influx of people searched for his name at the same time. Following that, the number of his followers also started to increase rapidly.

So this was what Seungyoun meant by promoting through social media.

Still, he didn’t expect a single post by Seungyoun could have such a big impact. It was a little scary when he thought about how powerful the other’s influence was. 

* * *

“Hyeri-ah, this part should go like this. Try it one more time.”

Currently Seungyoun was working in the studio with his friends. While his friend Joowon was in the middle of explaining something to Hyeri, Seungyoun became distracted as he looked at his phone. The notification that rang a minute ago had caught his attention.

He entered the Youtube website and was immediately brought to the video he had been waiting since earlier. Wooseok’s MV was just released.

Seungyoun started the video and soon a song sounded through the space. Since the atmosphere between the three of them had always been casual being close friends, therefore when distraction like these came up out of nowhere rather than feeling bothered they were instead curious. Joowon and Hyeri who heard that momentarily stopped their discussion and directed their attention to Seungyoun. Joowon who took his time listening to it had a belated realization when the familiarity of the melody struck him.

“Isn’t that the song you’ve been working on a while ago?” Rolling his chair towards Seungyoun, he also came close to watch the MV. Soon, Hyeri followed suit and was seen on Seungyoun’s other side.

“He’s so pretty.” Hyeri had a look of amazement on her face when she saw the flawless face that appeared on the screen then.

Seungyoun unconsciously felt himself smiling, not even responding to his friends as he could only focus on the face in the screen. As the song went on, the main character dressed in a loose white knit was seen sitting against a wall of a dark room where only moonlight filtered through a gap between the sliding doors, pouring a pale glow over his delicate features. The big beautiful eyes that turned towards the moonlight seemed to reflect a million stars in them.

All Seungyoun can see and hear then was Kim Wooseok.

Until the song reached the end, Seungyoun didn’t say a word meanwhile his two friends couldn’t stop running their mouth throughout the whole three minutes. His visual is no joke, how can someone have such a perfect face, his voice matches the mood of the song really well too. Ya, Cho Seungyoun, I feel this one is going to go well. You really made a good song this time. Hyeri on the other hand couldn't stop asking, so his name is Kim Wooseok? But wait, are you two friends with each other?

Friends. Seungyoun remembered the shy expression on the other’s face when he had kissed the other before leaving the car. There was a sudden strong urge to kiss the beautiful face again. Seungyoun laughed as he met Hyeri’s curious gaze.

“Yeah, you can say that.”

After the short break, they resumed their discussion. But Seungyoun couldn’t really focus because all he had in his mind was Wooseok.

When work ended for the day, he left the building and sat in his car while his mind was still busily thinking. The car remained in the parking lot unmoving as he sent a message to Wooseok.

_Still practicing?_

When the message remained unread even after ten minutes of waiting, Seungyoun realized the other is indeed most likely still busy practicing. Afterall, tomorrow Wooseok had to perform his song live in a music show. Tapping a finger on the steering wheel a few times, Seungyoun licked his lower lip slightly while trying to decide. Five minutes later, his car was seen pulling out from the parking lot into a direction opposite from his house.

He stopped to buy take-outs from a chicken feet restaurant before driving to Wooseok’s company. Knowing Wooseok, he was probably too focused practicing all day to have his meal yet.

By the time he arrived in front of Wooseok’s company the sky had already turned dark. He got out of the car bringing the plastic of food with him. As it was his second time here, he recognized the hallway and the floor he had to take to reach to the practice room.

Everything was done out of a sudden whim to see the other. Since Wooseok had visited him yesterday, he thought it wouldn’t hurt to be the one to pay a visit these time. But most of all, he just really missed Wooseok.

Most of the rooms were dark as it was already way past office hours, but among all of them one room remained lighted and a faint sound of someone singing could be heard inside. Seungyoun strode quietly towards the room before lightly pushing the door so that only a slight gap was made. It gave him enough vision to see who was inside though.

Wooseok was alone, sitting by himself as he sang into the microphone. The practice room was only half lit by the lights at the front and the back was completely dark. Under the focused lights, Wooseok was glowing even as he sat merely in his casual clothes. It seemed as if it was Wooseok’s innate talent to glow whenever and wherever he was. Seungyoun had that distinct thought stuck to his mind while he discreetly slipped through the door with the slightest sound possible.

Wooseok didn’t seem to be able to catch any other sound but the music in the background as he was fully absorbed into the song, looking deeply immersed in his emotions.

In a way it was like watching a live performance itself. Only what was special about it was that the sight was only for Seungyoun to see.

Seungyoun remembered when he made the song. It was a reflection of his silent feelings for Wooseok for the past 4 years. It was a confession made into a song. His decision to give this song to Wooseok then was so that the other would at least know of his feelings towards him. He had told himself then if Wooseok couldn’t understand or accept him then he had decided that he will just bottle up his feelings and continue helping Wooseok from the sidelines until the other would be okay to stand by his own.

The day where he had seen the other sang in the recording room, he thought the projection of emotion shown then conveyed perfectly of the other’s understanding towards the song. It was something that he wasn't really expecting, and more than anything he hadn't expect for his feelings to get reciprocated after. The past week had been full of whirlwind of emotions to process and go through. But what came out the most prominent out of them all was the immeasurable happiness at the knowledge that Wooseok was responding back to his love just as much.

The Kim Wooseok who loves him, singing the song with him in his mind, is the most beautiful sight Seungyoun has ever laid his eyes on.

After the song reached its end, Wooseok put down the microphone and got up to turn off the speaker. At that time, clapping sounds started filling the quiet room startling Wooseok as he quickly turned in the presence of a person who he hadn’t notice been sitting there watching him the whole time.

“Seungyounie…?”

Only able to catch a familiar outline, Wooseok squinted his eyes as he called out uncertainly. Wooseok’s hand then went to flip the switch on the wall just in front of him to confirm. And with the room lit clearly now, indeed there Seungyoun was sporting a huge grin on his face.

“Why- When did you…” As Wooseok struggled to hold his surprise in, Seungyoun stood up to make his way to the other.

“Just a few minutes ago. And I came because I plan to surprise you back, which I think went really well.” Noting the flustered look on the other’s face, Seungyoun laughed.

“Ah…” Only then Wooseok noticed Seungyoun’s message which he hadn’t read yet. An apology was on the tip of his tongue, but Seungyoun stopped him before more could be said.

“That’s okay.” Seungyoun said, apparently unaffected as he continued to have a gentle smile on his face while standing in front of the smaller form.

From the corner of his eyes, Wooseok saw something white behind the other and asked curiously.

“You brought something?”

“Yeah, I went to get some spicy chicken feet for you before coming here.”

“Really?”

A childlike excitement instantly showed itself at the mention of his favourite food. Thinking about it, he hadn’t eaten since this morning. Time passed by so fast because he was busy practicing. Before he knew it, it was already nighttime. Now that he allowed a break for himself, only then he realized how starving he was.

As he was about to make a move to fetch the plastic, a hand suddenly held him back. Following that, a bigger body embraced him from behind. Wooseok suddenly found himself engulfed within the arms of a fully warm Seungyoun.

“...”

Wooseok tried to understand the sudden action of the other, but Seungyoun’s head which was bowed on his shoulder hid his face away from view. When Wooseok thought of asking if something was wrong, Seungyoun opened his mouth.

“You did really well.”

The words that were murmured small, were full of meaning as Seungyoun’s arms proceeded to wrap themselves tightly around his body.

When Wooseok realized what those words meant, a soft smile slowly formed itself on his lips.

Reaching out to stroke the soft mass of black hair, his head leaned sideways to rest against the other’s. In the space where only two of them stood, time seemed to have stopped. Wooseok thought of the days that they had went through to reach here.

From now on, he hoped only for a flower path to await their future.


	11. Chapter 11

To say that it went well was an understatement, to say it blew out of proportion was too much of an overstatement too. But one thing for sure was that Kim Wooseok and his comeback song had received a lot of positive responses from the media and people.

There was a lot of attention gained due to his rare flawless visual and sweet voice, on top of that his comeback song was also a song that was composed by the famous singer-songwriter Woodz. For a while, he became quite an issue. His song was selected as the number one ballad song that people like to sing in karaoke and if one goes out to the street, one could also hear his song being played from the music store from time to time. His song stayed in the top 10 in music charts, and in music show he was nominated for first place a few times.

It was not a complete victory, but the result had been more than enough to thank for for an idol who used to be unknown for years.

Naturally, the company started treating him better as his rank of importance rose. He was also summoned to the president’s room for talks on renewing his contract, but Wooseok couldn’t give an answer yet, merely saying he will think about it. After he left the room, he immediately had a sudden urge to meet Seungyoun.

The past week, the other had been picking him up after work like a habit and he would end up sleeping in Seungyoun’s house rather than his. Needless to say, it became his second house as he gradually started filling the space with his own stuff. Small things like clothes, toothbrush, towel, things that show two people are sharing the space rather than one.

The reason for doing this in the first place was because both of them easily missed seeing each other. Eventhough Seungyoun was the one who kept saying he missed the other and eventhough Wooseok rarely expressed the same, but deep down Wooseok knew better that he was the one who was more clingy and possessive towards Seungyoun. As the days passed by with their relationship growing deeper, Wooseok realized it was Seungyoun who was the closest to him at the moment. With the other, he was free to show his true self, his true feelings, to express himself without facing any judgment, to love as much as he want without any restraint, and no matter what Seungyoun will still accept everything with a smile and a love that only grew more.

At times, Wooseok found himself asking if a person can really love him that much? Will Seungyoun continue to love him the same even as time passed? Afterall Wooseok had a long history of where he had given love, trusted people to believe in his love and stayed by his side only to be left in the end. On top of that, Seungyoun was a person with a much higher calibre than him, a person who was so likeable that everyone wanted to be close to him, so naturally there were times when Wooseok wondered how a person like Seungyoun could come to love someone like him.

These days when he learned more about Seungyoun, he also became exposed to the circle of friends Seungyoun had, to the lifestyle that was a total opposite from Wooseok’s own. While Wooseok only had less than 5 friends who he really hung out with, Seungyoun on the other hand had different friends coming over each time to ask to hang out.

The world where they lived in seemed to be a complete world apart, yet the love between them became the sole connection to their distant world. Therefore Wooseok only had this connection to believe in as he struggled to tolerate the differences between them.

Seungyoun was also different in the way he treated girls. For Wooseok, there had to be some distance established to prevent misunderstanding. But for Seungyoun it seemed that it was fine to treat girls as if they were his guy friends. And this was the one thing Wooseok found himself having difficulty to understand the most.

Whenever he saw one of Seungyoun’s girl friends coming too close or talking in a little too intimate manner to Seungyoun, Wooseok had to suppress himself from acting rashly. The only thing that made him able to keep himself calm was because when Seungyoun came back to him later, he saw the difference in treatment towards him which was full of affection and love that none of the other girls received.

Wooseok became particular about this after he knew that Seungyoun actually had just been dating girls before he met him.

_So, you’re saying I’m your first man?_

_Yeah…_

_Are you bi then?_

_That… I guess so?_

Wooseok remembered how Seungyoun had answered hesitantly, scratching the back of his head as if he was uncertain of his own answer.

_I don’t have that kind of feeling towards other guys, its just you._

So he couldn’t say for sure that he was bi because it seemed Wooseok was the only man he was interested in.

On the other hand, Wooseok already knew that he only liked men from the start, though there wasn’t any proper relationship in the past due to his life as an idol from a young age. Therefore his relationship with Seungyoun would be his first proper relationship with someone and he couldn’t help but to worry a lot if he was doing things right because he didn’t want to ruin what he had with Seungyoun.

At the moment, he wanted to see Seungyoun more than anything but due to his schedules that had became more packed recently he had to force himself to send a message to Seungyoun saying he couldn’t go back with him on that day, then that extended to the next few days too. With the rising popularity, offers were pouring in from left and right and of course the company wouldn’t let go of any chance to make more money so they had filled Wooseok’s schedule to the brim eventhough he tried to ask for some free time. But they simply reasoned to him that it was the chance to show himself more to the public, for the sake of his career. There wasn’t much Wooseok could say in defense to that knowing the history of his career. So he had to prioritize his work matters first and held himself back from seeing Seungyoun for a while.

Going back and forth from one photoshoot to another, from one show to another, he found himself barely able to take a breather in between. He only had a few minutes in a day to reply to Seungyoun and it was mostly done while he was in the car heading to another location for work. The messages from the other was never deprived of sweetness as words of care kept coming. Words like its cold today, so make sure to wear warmly or have you eaten yet, don’t forget to eat. At times, Seungyoun would just simply messaged a short I miss you, even then there were times Wooseok couldn’t reply to it because he was too busy.

Therefore, Wooseok felt the guilt weighing him by the time he realized a week had past without him seeing the other or even calling the other. There were only brief exchange of messages that continued loyally day by day, even then Seungyoun never seemed to complain despite the lack of contact.

Today when one of the photoshoot was cancelled, leaving a slot of free time for Wooseok, he finally found his chance to contact Seungyoun. He heaved a tired sigh as he took a seat at the lounge to wait for the time for his next schedule to arrive. Taking out his phone, he searched for Seungyoun’s contact number and dialled it. There was a short caller ringtone before he got through the other side.

_-Hello._

At that moment, his whole body froze as his blood ran cold. The word that was about to leave his mouth was instantly halted in the voice of a girl at the other side.

_-Hello?_

“...”

_-…Hmm? That’s weird._ The feminine voice on the other side became distant as if the person was checking the phone in confusion.

_-Who is it?_

When he heard Seungyoun’s distant voice, Wooseok quickly cut off the connection. He didn’t realize he had been holding his breath throughout the whole one-sided exchange. Exhaling his breath, he tried to calm himself down. He scrolled down to the last message that Seungyoun sent him just this morning.

_Wooseok-ah, don’t push yourself too hard. Take care of yourself today too._

It was still the same message that Seungyoun would send him every other day at the same time. There was no changes in the pattern or content.

So he didn’t expect to hear a girl’s voice instead of Seungyoun’s voice. Somehow, that bothered him a lot.

A second later, a call immediately sounded. The name Seungyoun flashed on the screen. Wooseok just silently stared at it without picking the call up. The phone continued to vibrate in his hand for a good minute until it stopped. Soon, a message appeared at the top.

_Wooseok-ah, you called?_

Then another message.

_Are you having your free time right now?_

Wooseok thinned his lips as he fought an internal battle within himself. In the end, he picked up his phone and replied to the message.

_Who was the one who picked up the phone earlier?_

_Oh, that’s Hyeri. She just helped me to pick it up because I was doing something else earlier. Why?_

The fact that Seungyoun easily answered things as if he really couldn’t see what was the problem was somewhat unnerving. Then Wooseok remembered the girl named Hyeri. The pretty girl who he had seen working with Seungyoun in the studio last time. Wooseok had thought she looked familiar then, so he had searched and eventually realized it was Hyeri the famous idol, who was also apparently under the same company as Seungyoun. Later he found out that Hyeri will be the singer for the song that Seungyoun was currently composing with a friend of his therefore she was often seen with Seungyoun as of late. There had been a few pictures of them hanging out together with their other friends on Insta to prove that too.

Same company, close friend, working together, for some reason the thought that her world had much more similarity to Seungyoun compared to Wooseok came to mind.

For the first time, Wooseok felt threatened and doubted the one and only connection he had to Seungyoun’s world.

At that moment, a call from Seungyoun came once again. Wooseok heaved a quiet sigh before picking it up.

“...”

_-Are you okay?_

“...”

_-...I thought about it. Did it bother you that Hyeri took the call? I’m sorry, I guessed I was being too insensitive. But trust me, there’s nothing going on between me and her. Both of us are just friends, really._

“...”

As bothered as he had been about the whole thing earlier, once he heard Seungyoun’s voice which sounded sincere to convince him then everything just melted easily. He knew this already deep down without having Seungyoun to explain it to him. He knew that the two were just friends. He trusted Seungyoun. He trusted the other’s love towards him. It was just that… for a moment, he got momentarily shaken due to the fearful reminder of their differences as well as the distance between them that seemed to grow due to their absence from each other. All these somehow made him more sensitive than usual.

What an idiot, he thought to himself. As his mind cleared up, he realized Seungyoun would never do such a thing to him, he knew because he trusted Seungyoun more than anything.

His accumulated exhaustion had made his state of mind became gradually vulnerable and today he was finally showing the first sign of cracking. He sighed another time. Seungyoun who heard it took it the wrong way and started speaking again.

_-Please, Wooseok-ah. You have to trust me._

“I do.”

Wooseok answered, though the fatigue was clear in his voice which had grown heavy.

“Seungyoun-ah, I have another schedule to catch up with. I’ll talk to you again later, okay?”

He said this when he saw a familiar car entering the parking lot outside the building.

_-...But-_

“Don’t worry, I’m not mad. I just really need to go now.”

_-Alright, then I’ll see you later…_

The voice on the other side was small as they said their parting. The call ended and Wooseok got up to Seungwoo who just arrived to send him to his next schedule.

“What’s wrong? Why do you look so pale?”

Seungwoo inquired upon the other’s entrance into the car, noticing the other’s face first. Wooseok shook his head to reassure the other.

“I’m fine, hyung. Let’s go.”

They still had two more set to go to before the day ended. Wooseok closed his eyes and slept the whole way in the car.

* * *

It was almost 3am in the morning when Wooseok arrived home. The neighbourhood was already quiet with sleep, the only exception was Wooseok who was still awake and trying to fight against his sleepiness while he made his way home. His steps were heavy as he dragged himself to his doorstep.

Maybe because his mind was only half-aware, so he only noticed the person who was sitting on his doorstep when he was right in front of them.

Seungyoun raised himself up upon the other’s appearance, dusting off dirt from his pants in the process. Wooseok wondered how long had it been since the other sat there. There was a usual smile on the other’s face, albeit it seemed a little sad this time as it greeted him.

Wooseok’s eyes had became wide since the moment he registered Seungyoun’s presence. As the situation dawned on him, his eyebrows furrowed deeply.

“Why are you here? At this hour? And since when have you been waiting here like this?”

It was winter and with the temperature dropping into the late night, the coldness right now is something people wouldn’t be able to stand normally. The shivering Seungyoun looked like he had been waiting here like this for hours.

Wooseok hurriedly grasped the cold hands in his and blew warm breath on them.

“You idiot, you should at least ask me when I will be back so you didn’t have to wait…”

“It’s okay. You’re busy, I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Seungyoun smiled warmly at the other’s display of concern. His larger hands grasped onto Wooseok’s ones back to receive the other's caring gesture. Wooseok frowned in exasperation at the other’s easy response. Letting one hand go, he used it to press his door password. The door unlocked and he led Seungyoun into the house while still keeping his one hand connected to the other’s still cold one.

He let Seungyoun sit on the sofa in the living room while turning on the heater. Then he headed into his room and went to the drawers to pull out some blankets. Coming back to the living room carrying the heavy blankets he proceeded to wrap the other in them. Seungyoun looked visibly happy being coddled by Wooseok the whole time.

“I’m still cold, Wooseok-ah~”

Seungyoun whined as if trying to ask for more attention. Wooseok on the other hand was genuinely concerned if the other really still felt cold.

“Let me turn up the heater more-”

“No, stay~”

Seungyoun pulled Wooseok back to him before the other could take a step. He wound the blankets around Wooseok too, forming a warm cocoon as he hugged the other with a satisfied smile.

“I just need this warmth and I’ll be okay.”

Seungyoun happily announced, rubbing his cheek against the Wooseok's like a puppy. Wooseok watched all these not knowing how to react at the sudden affection.

Just earlier that day, they had been in somewhat a conflict due to a misunderstanding. Though the misunderstanding had been cleared up, but Wooseok remained uncomfortable because of it so he didn’t plan on contacting Seungyoun until after he get more sleep and get his mind in order again. Yet here Seungyoun was now in his house, cuddling with him as if nothing had happened…

…But it was working.

Wooseok felt all the lingering discomfort faded away as he sought back the other’s warmth as if he had missed it. In fact, it was more than true as he found himself missing the other dearly upon coming back to an empty bed without Seungyoun the past few days.

With Seungyoun’s cheek rested on top of Wooseok’s head, they continued to savour the moment of holding onto each other in silence. Seungyoun’s hand which intermittently patted him on the back was gradually inviting sleep to his consciousness. Before he can shut his eyes, a quiet voice which filtered into his hearing at that moment brought him back to awareness.

“Wooseok-ah, do you want to hear something I’ve never told you before?”

“What is it?”

Wooseok murmured, listening as the quietness amplified the sweetness in the other’s soft voice even more.

“Do you remember when we first met?"

Maybe you wouldn’t remember it, but for me it was 4 years ago... Then Seungyoun began telling him everything while Wooseok continued to listen. As the story progressed, Wooseok’s eyes which were previously tugged heavy with sleep were now fully open as they took in everything with a renewed sense of awakening. The story from a timeline which dated back from 4 years ago was all unfamiliar to Wooseok. In fact the whole story had been about the other who had just been looking at him from a distance throughout all those years.

Then everything finally made perfect sense in Wooseok's mind.

When Seungyoun finished his story, Wooseok could only stare at the other in silence.

“For 4 years, it has always been you. That’s why nothing can change what I feel towards you, not anyone else, not the difference nor the distance between us.”

“...”

“I know there are times when it’s hard being with me, but I want you to know that I’ll always try to compromise so that you won’t have to suffer. Even if it’s just to make you a little bit happier… in the end I still think it’s worth it.”

Seungyoun smiled, eyes full of love and affection as he brushed Wooseok’s bangs away from his forehead and laid a soft kiss on it.

“...”

At some point, Wooseok’s vision had became blurry. Before he knew it, tears had started falling without restraint. A-Are you crying, Wooseok-ah? Seungyoun who started to panic at the sight kept asking what was wrong while using his sleeves to wipe the tears on Wooseok’s cheek. Wooseok couldn’t help from sniffling continuously as he let the tears flow freely.

“Wooseok-ah, please don’t cry- Did I do something wrong? Just tell me and I’ll fix it right away...”

Watching Seungyoun who only kept trying to comfort while looking greatly troubled, Wooseok realized the tears wouldn’t stop coming out.

It was because Cho Seungyoun, who is a fool for his love towards him, who always gives everything for his sake, who always puts him first before anything, who waited for his love for years, was so painfully lovable and endearing that he couldn’t help but to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the end i decided to slip in this extra chapter to cover some of the issues between them which i wished to explore. i actually even thought of making a sequel just to continue writing more in detail about these issue of theirs, but that would extend a few more chapters and due to the sudden lack of time i had decided to cover them only superficially in this chapter. i'm sorry about it but i hope it was enough to give an idea that there are differences that they have to tolerate as a couple, but despite all that they will not waver. next will be the last chapter, thanks for staying with the story till now :)


	12. Chapter 12

A soft touch fluttered on his face.

Wooseok’s eyelids opened slowly. The sight of Seungyoun looking down at him with a gentle gaze greeted him. The other’s hand lightly brushed his bangs away from his face.

“Good morning.”

The kiss that was laid on his forehead was as tender as the voice itself. Fingers that had been trailing fleeting touches all over his face settled below his eyelids that had became swollen from crying yesterday. The memories of him crying the whole night in front of Seungyoun filled his mind yet even then he was strangely unbothered by it. He was strangely comfortable even if he ended up crying his real feelings out to the other.

Without saying anything, Wooseok turned towards the other and raised his head up slightly to land a kiss on the other’s lips. Lips pressed and moved against each other like gentle waves.

Before he knew it, he was back with his head on the pillow and Seungyoun leaning over him to kiss him deeper. Wooseok smiled into the kiss and traced his fingers on the other’s cheek while savouring the other’s sweetness in his mouth.

The whole morning seemed to go by with them just kissing like this until Wooseok remembered he had to attend a schedule in an hour and told the other.

“Seungyoun-ah, I have to get up and get ready soon.”

Wooseok reasoned to Seungyoun who refused to let him go as the latter kept trying to kiss him more. Despite that, Wooseok still indulged the other and accepted each kisses without much resistance.

“Wooseok-ah, can’t you join my company after your contract ended?”

It sounded like something that came out in the moment because Seungyoun simply wanted to be with Wooseok longer. The fact that he had to see Wooseok going to work separately from him in the morning made him wish the other was in the same company as his so they can go to work and leave work together.

Seungyoun buried his face into the junction of the other’s neck, inhaling a faint soft sweet scent from Wooseok. While he was whining, Wooseok was visibly quiet as if he was deep in thought.

Come to think of it, his contract was going to end soon. And now that Seungyoun talked about this, he realized he hadn’t really been thinking about what to do after his contract ended. And now that Seungyoun blurted out this idea, Wooseok couldn’t help but to think that he should seriously consider about this.

Wouldn’t this be the solution to all that distance problem too, afterall? If he was going to be in the same company as Seungyoun then they can meet more often too. He thought he should go and meet the president one of these days to talk about his plan after the contract ended. 

“I’ll think about it. But now… I really have to go.”

Wooseok put a finger on Seungyoun’s approaching lips, laughing when the lips consequently jutted out into a pout. He proceeded to cup the other’s face and gave him one last kiss before climbing out of the bed. Seungyoun followed suit soon to join him in the bathroom and they crowded in front of the mirror to brush their teeth together. As how Wooseok had his stuffs in Seungyoun’s house, Seungyoun also had his stuffs filling the spaces in Wooseok’s house.

Wooseok found himself leaving the house only after a few attempt of trying to slip himself from Seungyoun’s cute clingy grip throughout his whole way downstairs. He laughed and patted the other on the head as he saw the face that was pouting dejectedly like a dog.

How can he not love this adorable man?

“I promise I’ll call you once I have free time today.”

He smiled when the face finally returned with its own smile as the other nodded. As he was about to close the door, he opened it again startling Seungyoun who was seeing him out.

Wooseok couldn’t resist, kissing the other one more last time on the lips before whispering an I love you. While Seungyoun was still trying to recover from his surprise, Wooseok closed the door and headed out.

A minute later, Seungwoo arrived and Wooseok got into the car not knowing the other was observing him through the rearview mirror the whole time.

“What’s this? You look different today.” Referring to the bright smile on Wooseok’s face which was a rare sight, Seungwoo continued suspecting that the other must have had something good happened to him for him to display a 180 change from yesterday.

Wooseok shook his head, yet the smile was still on his face. He will tell Seungwoo when the time comes, now is not the time yet.

Though there was something else he wanted to talk about to the other.

“Seungwoo hyung, what do you think of me changing company after my contract ends?”

While the car headed smoothly to their destination, Wooseok took the chance to ask Seungwoo for his opinion.

Upon hearing that, Seungwoo then remembered that the time for the other’s contract to end was nearing. The other day, he heard about how the president was suggesting to Wooseok to renew his contract with the company. It was a suggestion which only came after Wooseok started gaining fame, prior to that the attitude had been completely different.

Needless to say, it’s best that Wooseok left this company who couldn’t care the slightest about him until recently. Afterall the company had also been the reason why Wooseok had to go through so much hardship. If Wooseok is really thinking about changing to another company, then Seungwoo would show his unquestionable support for it.

“I think it’s a good idea. Go for it, Wooseok-ah.”

Now that things had became so much better for Wooseok, Seungwoo only wanted the best for Wooseok from now on.

“Hyung, will you come with me too?”

The unexpected question though suddenly threw Seungwoo off. As he glanced at the other through the mirror, he caught the hopeful innocence that was shining in those earnest eyes and couldn’t help but to laugh.

“I will if I get the chance. But if I don’t, we can still meet each other like before.”

There was the matter of application and the process of getting hired to consider if he followed Wooseok afterall. But then, he was also thinking he should give this a thought because it had been a long time since he had to just keep quiet and swallow the neglect and unfairness that was shown to Wooseok all these years. Even though it was only normal that life would somehow have some of that, still he couldn’t stand it because he had to see it happening to Wooseok who was a precious dongsaeng of his.

Wooseok nodded quietly to his answer, but Seungwoo can tell more than anything that the other wanted to be with him in the future as well. Therefore eventhough he couldn’t say it to Wooseok yet at the moment, he thought he will tell the other once he managed to make it out.

Suddenly it became somewhat akin to a cliched plan to escape the clutches of an evil company, so Seungwoo had to laugh again.

Still, he thought everything was going really well these days and he couldn’t help but to anticipate the future of Wooseok who is about to shine more brilliantly than he already is.

* * *

After finishing his photoshoot and interview for a magazine, Wooseok had to immediately head to his fanmeeting which was scheduled to be held in a huge university hall.

Due to his growing popularity, the number of his fans had also increased rapidly therefore he couldn’t use a small hall for his fanmeeting like he usually did in the past. Now even when he tried to walk alone in the street, he couldn’t go without being spotted and asked for sign and photos. There was also a time where he found himself in an ad board towering at the very center of the city. It was a recent perfume ad he had shot for, and somehow looking at himself then he had felt it all very surreal.

In a month, things had changed so much.

After Seungyoun came into his life, it felt as if his life had met its light at the end of the tunnel. It was all because of Seungyoun. He couldn’t even began to imagine where to start and where to end when it came to Seungyoun. And he thought maybe it was better this way because he wanted what he had with Seungyoun to last a lifetime, to never see its end.

After getting himself dressed and his makeup done, he still had a while before the fanmeeting started. Thinking about the other, he naturally took out his phone and decided to call the other. Two moments later, the call was received and a familiar voice greeted.

“Seungyoun-ah, busy?” Wooseok asked first to check if he was disrupting Seungyoun in the middle of his work.

_-No, I’m taking a break right now._

Wooseok blinked. The other side was somewhat loud with noises other than Seungyoun’s voice.

“But why is it so noisy?”

_-Ah, it’s because I’m outside._

“You’re not at the company then?”

_-Yeah, I’m on my way to meet someone right now._

Oh, are you meeting Joowon again, that composer friend of yours? Afterall, Seungyoun was always with the other since they often composed songs together.

Before he can hear the other’s answer however, a staff suddenly entered the room and informed him to get ready. The fanmeeting will start in a few minutes, please come out now. Wooseok hurriedly got out of his chair and followed the staff while still having his phone tucked close his ear.

“Sorry, Seungyoun-ah. It’s starting, I will call you again later.”

_-Sure. Let’s talk again soon._

The hint of a smile in the other’s voice remained.

Wooseok put down the call and let himself be led by the staff to the stage where almost a thousand fans were waiting for him. The whole hall was filled to the brim with no seats empty in between, it was a stark contrast from the usual sight Wooseok used to face before. From what he had heard, all the seats were sold in just a few seconds which made it even harder to believe.

He still couldn’t get used to the sudden popularity which had turned him famous overnight. Despite this sudden change, there was one thing which remained true to Wooseok until now.

His love for his fans.

Eventhough he was still trying to get used to the sudden huge numbers that presented themselves in front of him, once he started talking to his fans though the relaxed feeling naturally seeped itself in. Because he was in front of people who love him, therefore he had no fear.

“Hello everyone.”

As he looked around the hall, happy faces greeted him in unison. It was a really heartwarming sight.

“Thank you for coming today. I’m really surprised when I know all the seats were sold out immediately. Thank you for giving me so much attention and love and coming all the way here to see me.”

The response were as equally thankful as the fans expressed their appreciation back for being able to see him.

Receiving all the warm responses from people around him, Wooseok suddenly felt as if he had to tell them what had been bottled in his heart all these while. He smiled brightly as he spoke into the microphone.

“Just a month ago, I thought I was about to see the end of my career. A month ago I wouldn’t even imagine having a quarter of this hall filled, but now seeing all these with my own eyes, I realized this is really reality afterall.”

He remembered the small hall back then which only had half of its hundred seats occupied, yet the prospect of meeting and being able to converse with familar faces again then made him happy regardless. Now at this hall, he watched some faces at the front which still remained familiar to him as it had been all these years and he couldn’t help but to feel happier than ever. Happy that he could face them now with a better version of himself. Happy that he could repay all their efforts to support him by succeeding. Happy that they remained loyal to him until now.

“I cannot thank all of you enough for all the love that you had given me. To the fans who had stayed with me through my downside until now, thank you so much. There are no words I can use to express how thankful I am. And to the new fans, I’m really happy that I can finally meet you all. I think I’ve been waiting for a long time to receive a lot of love like this. From now on, I only want to walk on a happy road with everyone while repaying all the love you had given me.”

After he expressed everything in his heart, loud claps and cheers ensued. He bowed gratefully and thanked everyone again before seating himself at the table.

Soon, one by one stepped up the stage to meet him. Despite the huge amount of fans he had to cater to, he took his time just like he usually did before, listening to them talk about their days patiently, keeping eye contact and linking hands with them. The fanmeeting carried on a warm atmosphere all throughout.

Wooseok couldn’t keep count of the number of fans as they sat in front of him one after another without end. Regardless exhaustion was far out of his mind as he can only take pleasure to get to know each and everyone of them.

After the last girl got up from the seat with a blushing face, Wooseok got ready to greet the next one. At the moment, a loud buzzing seemed to fill the hall as the identity of the next fan became clear as they stepped on the stage.

Wooseok felt himself at a loss of word when he realized who it was with a sense of dejavu hitting him from all direction.

“Hello. I’m Cho Seungyoun. Nice to meet you.”

A hand was held out in a friendly manner after Seungyoun sat himself down. Wooseok’s lips which had been parted open in surprise the whole time pursed itself as he looked down at the hand in front of him. He swallowed before slowly grasping the other hand to shake it awkwardly.

Seungyoun merely laughed. The last time this happened, the awkward side had been his. Now he reveled in the other’s face which had became flustered and red from surprise and embarrassment. It was really cute.

“What are you doing here…?”

Wooseok looked around consciously while asking the other in a voice that was intentionally lowered. The people in the hall seemed to have burst in excitement when they realized Woodz had attended the fanmeeting. Some girls were seen holding their phone as they took video of the whole interaction. Back when he still wasn’t that known, it didn’t really became such an issue that Woodz attended his fanmeeting but now with two people who were equally popular meeting, and from the look of it one of them obviously came as a fan, it was undeniable that it was going to be an issue.

Wooseok almost wanted to pull the other away from the stage due to the current overpouring attention they were getting from everyone.

“Why? I came because I’m a fan of Kim Wooseok. Am I not allowed to?” Seungyoun’s tone was teasing and playful, but the smile on the other’s face was sweeter than anything.

Wooseok who had no idea how to react in this situation felt the heat rushing up his face instantly.

So when Seungyoun said he was going to meet someone earlier, it was him?

Only realizing this, he felt his face warmed up even more and he had to cover his face as much as he can to not make it too obvious.

“I’d like to ask for a kiss, but I know it would be too much for you. So here I’ll just ask you to sign this picture of us.” Seungyoun was grining from ear-to-ear as he proceeded to search the front pocket of the hoodie he was wearing.

He then saw the picture they had taken together for the first time handed in front of his eyes. Still trying to calm himself down, he wordlessly picked the picture up and started signing it with a lowered blushing face. Wooseok thought it would be better if he finished this with Seungyoun as fast as he can, so with that in mind he signed quickly before handing it back to the other.

“What? You didn’t even write my name.”

Looking at the other’s face, he didn’t know if Seungyoun was whining or simply teasing him. Not in the situation to question the other, he hastily added ‘To Cho Seungyoun’ above his signature.

“Please add an ‘I love you’ below it too.”

Wooseok looked at the other again, now positively certain that the other was definitely teasing him for the fun of it. Sighing, he complied to the other’s request and wrote an ‘I love you’ below the other’s name he had just written.

Seungyoun finally let loose a pleased smile as he was handed back the picture filled with proof of Wooseok’s written love for him.

Just when Wooseok thought Seungyoun was done the other was seen searching through his hoodie pocket again, now producing a small case from it. He held Wooseok’s hand and opened his palm before pushing the case into his hand. Blinking a few times, Wooseok stared at the case that was coated in his favourite deep red colour.

The moment he lifted open the lid and saw what was inside, he closed it immediately and hid it from view in fear that people who were capturing their video at the moment would see. It was a good thing that the distance between the stage and the seats were far apart.

Wooseok had to hold himself back from asking if the other had really gone crazy doing something like this in front of everyone but Seungyoun remained with a cool easygoing attitude as he got up from the seat after his turn was over.

When the next fan came and took her seat, Wooseok had to struggle to calm his heart which kept beating loudly as if it was about to burst from his chest. The rest of the fanmeeting, his eyes kept glancing at Seungyoun who was sitting calmly and watching him with a smile.

When the fanmeeting was over, his eyes only searched for Seungyoun amidst the leaving crowd but the other was already nowhere to be seen.

Frowning, he didn’t even bother to listen to what the staffs were saying to him while he passed them, only thinking of one thing as he left the stage and hurried out through the back door.

And then there Seungyoun was leaning against a lamp post nearby as if waiting for him. Wooseok approached the other who was looking up at the sky absent-mindedly.

When Seungyoun heard the footsteps, he pushed himself off and smiled.

With hands still stuck in his hoodie, Seungyoun observed him carefully.

“You’re still in your makeup.”

Noting the other’s breathless appearance, he realized the other had been in a rush to see him. Thumbing the red lips which was still moist with lip balm, he pulled the lower lip slightly before leaning down to taste it. It tasted vaguely of strawberries.

Wooseok still hadn’t say a thing, merely gripping tight the case in his hand which had became the reason for his still rapidly pounding heart. He was afraid his voice was going to shake if he said anything.

“Did I surprise you?”

Seungyoun asked, smiling calmly as he unwrapped Wooseok’s hand and took the case in his. He opened the box and pulled the ring out between his fingers.

Catching the light of the lamp, the simple silver band produced a beautiful bright glint along its surface.

“I couldn’t find any other better way to express my love for you.”

Seungyoun then took out the hand which had been constantly in his hoodie and showed the matching silver band he was wearing on his fourth finger.

“I thought this can be a proof between us, even if other people won’t know about us. A proof of love which only both of us have, and which only mattered to the both of us alone.”

Wooseok watched as his hand was brought up and laid on the other. Seungyoun slipped the ring through his finger and Wooseok realized how perfectly it fit on his fourth finger. Following that, his hand was raised to the other’s lips where the other kissed the finger which held the ring lovingly.

The glint of the two silver bands that were close to each other was caught in Wooseok’s eyes and immediately brought forth a moist feeling in his eyes.

“I love you, Wooseok-ah.”

As their hand linked with one another, Wooseok watched the face of Seungyoun which was glowing as brightly as the ring on their finger.

Like his life which had been lit up by the light Seungyoun brought.

Under the street lamp where only the two of them stood, the first snow of the night began to fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like the light that seungyoun brought into wooseok’s life, lets continue believing in the light that will come to us too one day :) eventhough it has been a hard journey until now for everyone, have faith and continue supporting the boys. i write this story while in the middle of the situation due to my wishful desire to see a happy ending for everyone, but along the way i also felt the happiness of writing the characters of seungyoun and wooseok who are in love. i hope my readers are able to feel the same happiness i felt, and i hope it can serve as an encouragement while going through this tough situation we’re facing. other than that, i want to thank everyone for staying with me and the story until to the very last chapter. it has been a good experience for me writing this. thank you again, and i hope i can meet you with another story in the future! take care everyone :)


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